Turtlenecks Mess Hair

 

“Julienne, you really brought me a lot of turtlenecks.”

“Mom, you tell me you are always cold.”

 “The place is always cold.”

“So I looked through your clothes and brought your warmer tops.”

 “They are much warmer than my other tops.”

“I thought you would be happy that I brought them.”

“When the aide puts my turtleneck on she messes my hair.”

 “Do you want me to bring your turtlenecks home with me?”

“No, it’s OK; who do I have to impress anyway.”

Breathing On Her Own

 

Mom had good news when I saw her last Friday; I do not need oxygen anymore when I sleep.”

“That’s terrific.” 

“Billy* told me I was going to try one night without oxygen.”

 “How did you sleep last night?”

“Good.  I told Dana*not to tell you.  Did she tell you?"

 

"Mom, she called to give me an update.  She told me you were very excited."

 

"I wanted to tell you.”

“Mom, I’m happy for you.”

Yesterday when I saw mom, I asked mom if she is still sleeping without oxygen at night. 

With a huge smile mom said, “So far so good.”

 

Great News:  Mom is totally off of oxygen for now.

 

Go Back to Bed

When mom first saw me last Friday she said, “I have to tell you what happened this morning.”

‘What happened, mom?”

“I woke up and I called an aide.  I told her my daughter’s coming to pick me up.  I am going to get my hair done and go out for lunch. ”

I said, “You’re right, Mom. Today is beauty shop day.”

“The aide told me ‘Your daughter’s not coming no one’s coming.  You’re not going anywhere except back to bed.  Close your eyes and go back to sleep.’”

“What time did you wake up?”

“The clock said 3 o’clock.”

“Mom, I pick you up at 10:30AM. What was the hurry this morning?”

“I don’t know.  When I woke up, I was confused.”

“When you went to bed last night, you probably thought about getting your hair done and going out for lunch.  You might have even dreamed that you did not want to miss it.  So when you woke up you were ready to go.”

“I guess so.”

Don’t Blame the Gum

 

Yesterday when I was with mom, she said, “Julienne, take your gum home it made me sick.”

“What gum are you talking about?”

“The new one you just brought me this week.”

 

“I ate honey chicken yesterday. The food didn’t agree with me so I put gum in my mouth.       I felt worse.”

“Did your stomach hurt?”

“Yes!”

“Did you throw up?”

“No!  I didn’t feel good.”

“You thought the food didn’t agree with you then you put the gum in your mouth. Why did you do that if you were not feeling good?”

“I thought I would feel better.”

 “How many pieces did you put in your mouth?”

“Two.”

“Normally you only take one piece. Maybe two pieces was too fruity for you especially after not feeling right.”

“You’re right.”

“Try to chew the gum again sometime. I don’t think it was the gum. It might have been the combination of the honey chicken and the gum did not mix well. ”

 “Could be”

“Mom, I like this gum; you might really like the gum.  Try it once more when you are feeling good.”

“Not now.”

“No problem, mom, maybe another day.”

Shenanigans

 

Mom has been telling me that she is having a hard time walking.  She feels like she is dragging her feet and could fall.  The shoes she has been wearing are the ones that I brought her when her feet were swollen about six weeks ago.  Mom says that she likes the shoes big because she has always had problems with bunions and at least the bunions don’t hurt because her shoes are loose.  However, mom tripping is a huge health risk with her osteoporosis.  Five years ago, mom just stood up and broke four bones in her hip and femur bone.   I was not willing to gamble with mom’s health.

So after I had gone to Walmart on a shopping spree for mom’s shoes, I stopped by to show mom the shoes and have her try them on.   Since mom cannot go shopping, I like to give her a choice so I brought her two different styles.   Mom knew exactly which ones she wanted; the shoes she selected were completely different than the two pairs she already had.  After fitting the beige shoes on her feet, mom smiled.  Her bunions did not hurt; the new shoes were a perfect fit.  Halleluiah!

As I do with most things I bring mom, I snapped a photo of mom wearing her new shoes.

 

The bonus was that when I stopped by Jamie was there with mom.  Jamie and mom were having a nice time.  When Jamie arrived he said mom was playing Bingo so he sat there and they played together.   Being a beautiful day, they also went for a nice walk outside and had just returned when I arrived.   Mom claimed she was tired after the whole ordeal.

Then Jamie had a suggestion for a cute picture.  He asked mom if she remembered ‘My Three Sons” an American situation comedy that aired in the 60s and early 70s about a father with three sons.  The theme song featured three pairs of shoes tapping to the beat of their theme song.  Being the photographer of the group, I said I would try to recreate the photo with just the three of us. 

 

Since this is not a video, you would have to use your imagination to see our feet tapping.  Mom enjoys the comedic value of us acting silly; Jamie and I enjoy having fun with mom, too. 

After our shenanigans, mom was anxious to go back to the activity room because she promised to exercise with Shirley* today and they only had 15 minutes left of their class.  Jamie and I walked mom to the activity room so she would not break her promise.  Mom hugged and kissed us both and told us how much she loved spending time together.

Of course, before we left I felt we had a Kodak moment so I snapped another photo of our visit together.



Every Picture Tells a Story

Recently, Jamie and I met for lunch at our usual dining place, Panera’s.  I saw him walk in with a box, but I was so happy to see him that I did not initially question him.  We often bring things when we meet for lunch to show the other person so bringing something to our lunch was not unusual.

Time flies by fast during our lunch because we each have so much we want to share.  We try to make the most of our time and not forget to update each other on what is new in our lives.

As we were about to leave, Jamie asked me to open the box. Before I did, he said, “I know the last thing you need in your life is another picture frame, but Tracy saw this one and thought you should have it.”

My curiosity was aroused.  As I pulled out the picture frame and saw the frame, I could feel chills throughout my arms.  The frame has an ornate pewter metal with a ceramic stone labeled ‘MOM & ME’.  You can imagine how special this gift is to me. 

I said, “You are right, Ron and I have a zillion picture frames.  I would never have guessed that I needed another one.  However, the picture frame is just the one my collection was missing.  This beautiful frame means the world to me and I will treasure it for years to come. ”

I was anxious to look through my recent photos to find the perfect photo to put in the frame.  Ron helped me choose the recent Portillo’s luncheon. 

 

 

Mom and I are making the most of our time together; this picture frame will always be a reminder for me of our final chapter.  I have a sincere loving picture of 'Mom and Me'.  The frame sits to the left of my computer and will always be my writing muse. 

Pretty in Pink

Last week when I saw mom, I showed her I had a present for her.  I wanted to have her try on the new taller diabetic socks before I took off all the tags to ensure that she liked them. 

Once I put the socks on her feet mom said, “They’re really soft. The socks come much higher up on my leg.”

“Mom, I know when my feet feel warm, my whole body feels warmer.  I hope that works for you, too.”

“You bought pink ones.  I thought they only came in black and white?”

“Mom, you remembered what I told you last week, but when I went back to Walmart I noticed that they came in pink, too.  You mentioned that you would like other colors.  I know you love pink.”

“What will I wear them with?

“Wear your pink socks when you are dressed in one of your pink tops or your pink sweater.”

“Julienne, I don’t dress myself.  I can’t tell them which socks to put on me.”

“Mom, I think they will see them in your drawer and put them on you when they match your outfit.”

“I don’t know about that.”

When I removed her socks, mom stated, “You have to put my name on them so they know their mine.”

“Good job, mom, you’re right! I’ll bring them to Rosey* so she could make sure that the laundry department labels your socks.”

When I returned later that week, Mom had a huge smile on her face.  She was sitting in a chair and proceeded to lift her legs to show me that she was wearing her new pink socks.  She was dressed in her mock pink turtleneck and pink sweater.  Mom looks great in pink.

“Mom, you are wearing the pink socks.”

“Yes, I couldn’t wait to show you.”

“You look so fashionable.”

“They’re warm.  Thank you.”

Going Bald

The last few weeks mom has had something bothering her.

"Julienne, I' m losing my hair."

"Mom, everyone's hair becomes thinner as they age.  Thinning hair is normal."

"Look at the front of my head!

"Right now your hair looks thinner because you need to have your hair colored.  Your hair is blending into your scalp."

"My hair looks terrible."

“Good news . . . when you get your hair colored on Thursday, your hair will look thicker.  Let see after your hair gets done. I think you’ll feel better about your hair then."

On Thursday when Joanne* was finished with mom's hair I asked, "Mom, how do you like your hair?"

"Joanne* does a beautiful job.  My hair looks good."

"I agree, mom.  Your hair looks beautiful."

A Healthy Appetite

When I went into Portillo’s, Lori sat in the car with mom. Lori said mom talked about how much she loved the pizza last week from California Pizza.  Mom told her the pizza was cooked just the way she likes it ‘crispy’. She also told Lori about how she ate half the pizza.

Arriving back at The Community* we brought our beef sandwiches to the Garden room.  Mom surprised herself and ate the whole beef sandwich. Once we were all finished, I took out my camera to take a picture of our luncheon with Lori.  I asked Sam* a good friend of mom’s if he would take our photo.  He was happy, too.

  

When Lori and I walked mom back to the activity room, mom was just in time for the Dreamsicle Social.  Mom could not remember ever having a Dreamsicle. 

I said, “Mom, you may not remember, but trust me you love them.  A Dreamsicle is vanilla ice cream with orange sherbet.”

The aide handed mom a Dreamsicle with a napkin. “No, I can’t have one, I am allergic to them.”  Mom tried to give her Dreamsicle back to the aide.

However, I grabbed the Dreamsicle and started to unwrap it, “You are not allergic to Dreamsicles.  You love them.  I don’t want you to miss out on something you really enjoy.”

“They tell me I can’t have ice cream,” mom said adamantly.

“Mom, you can eat ice cream.”

Just then the aide says, “Your mom says she is allergic to so many things.      I have another woman who says she is allergic to everything, but when her husband is here he says his wife is not allergic to anything also.” 

“Mom eliminates so many things she loves because she thinks they might not agree with her. When mom’s bowels are not right she always blames the last thing she ate.  Unfortunately by doing this, she has created a long list of items she will not eat.  I have to keep having her try those things again to assure her she can eat most of them.”

“Mom, just try the Dreamsicle.  See of you like it.”

 “I do like this, but I am not going to eat this every day.”

“That’s OK; they don’t have the Dreamsicle Social every day.”

Just then mom’s good friend, Darlene, was being wheeled into the activity room by her daughter. Darlene had her family dog on her lap.

Mom smiled and said, “Darlene, have a Dreamsicle! They tell me it’s good for you.”

Mom really enjoyed her visit with Lori.   When Lori and I were leaving Mom said, “Love you both.  I had a wonderful day. Have a nice time at the baseball game tonight.” 

Lori and I were both delighted that mom remembered about the reason Lori and Roy came to visit was to see their son’s baseball games. 

Mom’s memory and appetite this day was very good.

Queen for a Day!

When Lori and I were in the beauty shop with mom last week, mom said, “Jerome took a picture of me while he was here.  He took my profile.”

“Really a profile shot?”

“Yes, I thought it came good.  Did you see it?”

“No, mom, I did not see the photo.”

“You showed him the pictures you took of me.”

“Yes, because I put them on the blog.  So he can see them there.”

“On the computer . . .?”

“Yes, I put your pictures on the computer.”

“Julienne can take your profile shot for the blog,” Lori suggested.

“I don’t want anybody upset.”

“Upset about what mom?"


“About you both taking the same photo . . .”

“I think it will be OK.  Jerome does not blog.”

After taking a few profile photos for mom and having her choose which photo she liked best for the blog, I asked mom where she would like to go for lunch.

“Julienne, Lori’s our guest.  Where does she want to go?”

“I’ll go wherever you want to go.  It does not matter to me," Lori answered.

“Mom, how about Portillo’s for a beef sandwich or a hot dog?  Lori has never had a Chicago Hot Dog.”

“Really, it doesn’t matter to me. Gilda, you pick.”

“You’re the guest, Lori, you choose.”

Joanne* piped in, “Gilda, you got your hair done and now they want you to choose where you want to go for lunch.  You are pretty lucky.”

Lori spoke up, “Gilda, it is your day.  You are ‘Queen for Today’ so you pick.”

“OK! OK! Let’s eat a beef sandwich!”

Elder Care . . . the Right Decision?

A few days ago I received a comment that made me stop right in my tracks and reflect on the right and wrong way to help an aging parent or loved one.  The person has a different point of view than mine. So you completely understand the importance of this blog, I am posting jkh’s comment to me:

First of all, you should be ashamed your mom is in a nursing home. With all the time you waste on this stupid blog you could have her at your home or hers taking care of her. Not shut away in a home. I took care of my mother and worked full time with 3 hours of sleep a day and much blood sweat and tears, $ and my time. If you took care of your mother what a nice way to spend the rest of her time here on earth instead of with strangers by jkh.

When I read jkh’s note to some of my close friend’s they told me not to give this person the time of day.  I must admit I considered putting this comment in spam email.  Thank goodness I did not because this person brought up a good question:  Is it a son or daughter’s responsibility to care for their parent or parents in their home as opposed to having them cared for by professionals?

Today as Baby boomers age we find ourselves making tough decisions about how to care for our elderly parents when our parents can no longer take care of themselves any longer or become sick with dementia or Alzheimer’s.

I truly feel there is no right or wrong way to care for your loved one as long as you do what is in the best interest of your loved one, your family, and yourself. 

For jkh clearly the best interest must have been to care for their parent at home on an average of 3 hours of sleep while raising 3 children.  God bless this person for taking on this huge responsibility.  If he or she felt this was the right thing to do in their heart than they made a good decision.  A decision he or she can live with the rest of his or her life.

My philosophy is different not better. I believe that caregivers must take care of themselves.  Some people often risk their own physical health and mental health by their commitment to do what in their mind they believe to be the only right choice. Being a caregiver is frustrating, overwhelming, as well as, physically and mentally exhausting. Caregivers are no good to others if they are unable to care for themselves.

My belief is that in mom’s case, she is far better off in a full-service facility that has a nursing staff around the clock that can and does take care of mom better than I or my brothers could.  In addition, mom has the ability to make friends and participate in activities that help her feel more independent and help her to accept and make the best of her medical limitations.  My true belief is that we have given mom a better quality of life being at The Community*.

Certainly not all nursing homes are reputable.  Choosing the right home for your loved one takes time and research.  You must also check up regularly and make sure your loved ones needs are met with kindness.

The staff at The Community* is caring.  They handle mom’s needs immediately.  Whether she has a bump on her eye, her legs swell, or she experiences constipation or diarrhea; they handle her conditions immediately.  We do not have to wait for a doctor’s appointment or a home remedy.

No one wants to go through this stage of life.  Most people’s wish is to just pass in his or her sleep.  Unfortunately, God does not give us this choice.  He chooses how we are leaving this earth.

Each and every child who finds themselves in this situation must decide what is best for their parent.  The decision is never an easy one and no matter which way you choose to go there is some guilt.  If you chose to care for your loved one at home, the guilt lays in does your parent or loved one feel like they are a burden on your family?  Are they happier in your home?  What kind of strain is this on your families’ needs? 

You have another option if you keep a loved one at their home or yours, by getting home health care.

If you put your loved one in a nursing home no matter how nice the home is there is still guilt.  We all live with some guilt because we wish we could be everything to everyone. My family and I have put many hours of blood, sweat and tears, dollars and time, too.

In the Bible Jesus says, “Honor thy father and mother”.  Truly looking at what is in their best interest and making sure they are well taken care of is how I interpret His command.

My brothers and I made the decision to put mom at The Community*.  We can all sleep at night with our decision because we considered all of our needs especially mom’s.  Each night when I say my prayers I thank God that mom is at The Community* and that she is in the best hands possible, that is until God calls her home. 

Good to be 'Third'

Last Friday when Lori and I went to visit, Mom was so happy to see Lori.  Mom has not seen her for a few years since mom used to vacation with Ron and me in Marco Island.

As mom walked towards us, Lori said, “You are walking great.  You look wonderful. ”

“Thank you.  I’m trying.”

“My mom, Ruth, said to tell you ‘Hello’.  She reads Julienne’s blog to keep up with how you are doing.”

“Great!  Tell her I said Hello, too.”

Before heading towards the beauty shop, mom wanted to show Lori her bedroom.  She is quite proud of how her room is decorated even though she shares a room with two other women.  She has accepted that quite nicely.

As mom was talking with Lori, I was straightening out mom’s closet and drawers, as usual, color coordinating everything to make putting together mom’s outfits easier for the staff when they dress her each morning.

Mom’s was talking with Lori about the priority in which the staff attended to her needs this morning.  Normally when the aide comes to help wash and dress them each morning, Annie*, her roommate to mom’s right has always been first.  Annie* needs extra attention; so mom has accepted the fact that Annie* needs to be first and that she is second.  She has said to me in the past ‘At least I am not third’.

Mom said, “Guess what, Julienne?  Now I am third.”

“Why are you third?”

“Mary* is having some problems with her legs.” Mary* is mom’s roommate to the left of her bed.

Lori said, “Being third must mean you are the healthiest person in your room.  That’s good news for you.”

“I guess so.”

“Mom, you should be very proud of yourself. You are doing very well.”

Mom smiled at us both, “I never thought of it that way.”

Just goes to prove by teaching mom to look at her glass as half full, we can help mom see the positive in any situation.  Everyone, including me, can learn from our conversation.  Today Lori made mom feel great about being third.  I was sure glad Lori was there.

Toasty

 

The last time I was with mom she requested new socks. The elastic bands around most socks hurt her by stopping her circulation.  Mom’s feet have been swelling; sometimes they are worse than other times. Right now the swelling on her feet is down.

Recently, I went to several stores to try and find socks that would be comfortable for her. I had tried specialty pharmacies which had socks for people with Diabetes. The socks at the pharmacy did not look comfortable; in addition one pair of socks was $19.95.  Since mom needs several pairs, I thought that was not the answer.  

I finally found that Dr. Scholls makes Diabetic socks which are very soft. They look warm which would be wonderful because mom is always cold. The cost for these socks is $8.44 for two pairs. 

When I went to see mom yesterday, I had her try them on.  She loved them. She asked if made ones that were taller to keep her warmer and if they came in different colors.  I mentioned that they do make taller ones; however, the socks only come in black and white.    I assured her I would bring taller ones and black ones next time. Although she wanted to keep her new socks on, I told her we needed to bring them to the receptionist, Rosey, to have mom’s name put on them for laundry purposes as we do with everything we bring into The Community*.

So mom and I went for a walk to drop off her socks.  By taking her with me, she feels like we are running an errand together.  It makes her feel like she can do things herself again and that is my goal.

No Longer Haunted

Yesterday when I saw mom, she had a warm smile on her face.  She had just gotten her nails clipped. She was happy because she said her nails were catching on everything.  Mom’s smile was a welcome relief to how I was greeted last Friday when I initially saw her. 

Mom is no longer complaining of her eyelid itching.    The infection on her eyelid is continuing to improve. Her eyelid only appears to have a small bump now. 

Mom’s first comment to me last Friday when she saw me was that “Diarrhea was haunting her!”  Although her situation was anything but funny, the way she expressed her situation was humorous.

We spent much of our conversation discussing the benefits of eating a banana.  Mom kept asking me, “So how often should I eat a banana?” 

“How about eating a banana every other day?”

She replied, “How about once a month?” 

“Mom, why would you only want to eat a banana once a month?”

“I don’t want to be constipated.”

 “Why don’t you try and eat a banana at least once a week?”

“I’ll ask my nurse.”

“Sounds like a good program mom.”

That was the last I heard about the banana debate.  Thank goodness that issue appears to be resolved and life is good again.  

Pizza, Pizza, Pizza

The last time I was with mom she was craving pizza. So instead of going to McDonalds for lunch like we normally do for our double cheeseburgers(after mom had her hair done), my mission was to get a pizza for mom.

Once I helped mom in my car, I called California Pizza to order a pepperoni pizza to go. Mom and I used to eat their regularly before she became sick.   The girl taking my order asked what kind of car I drove because they have an area where you drive up and they bring your pizza out to you. 

Shortly after I arrived, a waiter came out with our pizza, drinks, and the bill.  This made it much easier than leaving mom in the car to go in and pick up the pizza myself.  In mom’s present state, I like to be able to see my mom in case she tried to get out of the car so this set up was perfect.

Mom used to love going inside the restaurant, but she did not express that she wanted to try that so I did not suggest it.

After receiving our pizza, we headed back to The Community* where we walked towards their Garden Room.  I set a nice table for us with our napkins, plates, lemonade and pizza. 

The pizza was crispy which is exactly how mom loves it.  I always ask mom to select her piece first because she always wants the crispiest one.  In the past if I chose first, she always claimed I took the crispiest one; she has trained me to have her take the first piece. I go as far as asking her which other pieces she thinks are ones she might want to eat after that first piece. She is only too happy to tell me which ones are cooked more to her liking. 

The good news is that Mom had a wonderful appetite; she ate three pieces which was half of the pizza.  The bad news is that I ate the other half.

Hair Therapy

When mom goes to the hair salon for a wash and styling, the time we normally spend there is 30 minutes or less.  The benefit mom receives extends far from just having her hair done and looking good.  I consider our time another form of therapy.

Joanne and I always try to cheer mom up.  Some days are easier than others.  Last Friday, we really made a difference in mom’s mood.

When mom’s hair was finished I said, “Mom, did you see your hair in the mirror today?” 

“Why?”

“Your hair looks great . . . the best yet.”

She swerved her chair around to look into the mirror. “Yes, it looks nice,” shaking her head to acknowledge that she agreed.

“Joanne* does a beautiful job.  She keeps making your hair look better and better.”

As I took out my iphone to snap a picture, mom stated, “Here she goes again!”

“Mom, your hair looks so nice, I have to take a picture.” With that comment I snapped her photo.

“Gilda, your daughter thinks you look like a movie star.  She enjoys taking photos of you.”

Mom thought that was very humorous and started to laugh.  Fortunately, I was still clicking and this is the expression on mom’s face. 

When I showed mom her picture she questioned, “Is that me?”

"Of course, mom, who else would that be?"

“Julienne, that’s funny!”

Bigger Not Better

Putting out fires for a loved one is a caregiver’s responsibility no matter how small there request may seem. 

Mom had another issue that was making her uncomfortable.  She was wearing the wrong size undergarments. 

Incontinence is a real problem for many aging seniors and mom is no different.  She has been wearing proper undergarments for some time. 

Mom wants what everyone else wants . . . to feel comfortable. She has always been very selective and wants to feel like the undergarments fit properly. She told me she was given a size large this morning.  Although this may seem like a small issue, I assure you it is major issue.  Making her as comfortable as possible reduces mom’s anxiety.   

She insisted that she show me how big they were.  Once again, mom was right.  She asked me to check her closet to see what size all the packages were that she was given.  Sure enough all packages on her top shelf were large except for one which was an extra large.

As I was straightening mom’s clothes in her closet, Antonette*, her hospice aide, came in.  I explained mom’s concern.  She knew about the problem; she had brought the wrong sizes for mom.  Antonette* had thought the size large would be more comfortable for her.  Her concern for mom was sincere; she told us she would locate a size medium and resolve this problem immediately.

Within minutes Antonette* was back, mom put the size medium undergarments on immediately with the help of her aide.  Mom was pleased. 

We gave Antonette* all of the other packages back.  She assured us that she would replace those packages with the proper size. Mom felt so much better that the issues that were important to her had been looked into and taken care of.

One of my favorite quotes is “To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.”

Out of Sync

Recently, I was out of town for a few days, so I had not seen mom for one week.  When I went to see her on Monday morning, she was in the activity room sleeping while a few of the other residents were singing.

While I was gone, the eye doctor had put mom on antibiotics.  Although I was happy that her eye doctor chose to treat her cyst with antibiotics instead of surgery, I worried that adding a new medicine to her equation may cause undue side effects. 

The good news is mom’s cyst is much smaller and her eyelid is no longer red.  Mom claims her eye still itches, but she is happy that her eye condition is improving. 

The first topic mom wanted to talk to me about was her lack of sleep.  The night before she had a restless sleep; she woke up five times.  She mentioned that the nurse did not have the right sleep medication last night so she gave her something else.  Mom blames the new medication as the reason she did not sleep.  So I went to talk with Billy*, her nurse, to find out what happened.  Mom was half right.  

Billy told me that mom’s Ativan was not given at the correct time the day before because the medicine did not come to The Community* when it was scheduled to be there.  Ativan is prescribed to treat anxiety. However, mom is right that taking Ativan does help her sleep as that for many that is a side effect of this drug.  Mom’s system is so sensitive that her not receiving her Ativan on time caused her undue anxiety (hence the restlessness) which caused her not to sleep well. 

Her body was already off course so once she was given the medicine; the medication took longer to work its magic.  I explained to mom what happened.  I assured her that she should be able to sleep better now that the matter has been taken care of.

 At least, I was comforted to know that mom clearly understood that there was a medication problem so I could look into the matter for her, make sure the problem was resolved, and give mom reassurance.