Who’s On First?

I woke up with the blues today . . .   no particular reason.  At least not one I could point to.  I decided to get some things done in my office and head out to see mom. 

When I arrived at 10:50AM, mom was already seated in the dining room with her friend, Darlene*.  Although lunch does not start being served until 11:30AM, the staff starts seating them early because most of the people on this floor need to be escorted or wheeled to their tables.

When I saw her, I asked her if she would like to go out for lunch today since the weather outside has cooled off and in the 80s.

“You want to go to lunch?”

“It’s beautiful outside mom; we could both use a little sunshine.”

“I don’t think I am feeling well.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t gone in 3 days.”

Mom gets very confused with time.  Before I actually saw mom today, I spoke with her nurse who informed me that mom had diarrhea all day yesterday, but had not gone today. 

Her nurse also asked me why mom can’t eat bananas, oranges, and root beer floats.  I told her that mom can eat all of those things.

“Mom, I heard you had diarrhea yesterday.”

“I don’t think so. Talk to my nurse.”

“I did right as I walked in and that is what she told me.”

“Julienne, talk to her about my menu . . . she wants to talk to you.” . .

“I did already, mom, I told her you can eat bananas, oranges and root beer floats.”

“I thought someone told me I couldn’t eat them.”

“Mom, I know you love bananas and root beer floats. You can go ahead and eat them.”

“Last night they served root beer floats, I didn’t have one.”

“Next time you should have one.”

“Julienne, I think they are serving chicken today for lunch.  I hate to miss chicken.”

“Mom, why don’t I stay with you until 11:30AM. You can eat here so you don’t miss your favorite meal.”

“No, maybe I can ask them to save my chicken for  dinner?”

“Mom, let’s go talk with your nurse.  I am ok with you not going out to lunch with me today.”

When we went to talk to her nurse, she showed us the weekly menu.

I read the menu to mom, “Meatloaf is being served for lunch; chicken is going to be served for dinner.”

“Let’s go to lunch, Julienne, I don’t care for meatloaf.”

As we were walking out to my car mom stopped and said,

“Julienne, what are we going to do about my diarrhea?”

“Mom, you don’t have diarrhea!”