Scary Faces of Dementia

 

Dementia is a cruel disease slowing stealing all the enjoyment a person has in life.  If it is not enough that the disease takes away all of the person’s independence, the disease works on destroying their mind. 

Dementia is trying so hard to take over mom’s thoughts.  Mom is fighting a good fight.  Mom tries so hard to share what’s on her mind, but two or three words that start out like a normal statement come out of mom’s mouth when suddenly out of nowhere the rest of her thought is stolen. Mom looks at me with childlike eyes wanting me to fill in the blanks.  I desperately try my best to understand what she is trying to tell me.  Memory loss is cruel. 

Unfortunately, I am learning about other symptoms of dementia:  lack of comprehension, confusion and paranoia.  This day both mom and I would experience these symptoms first hand.

As so often occurs when I visit mom, she is sitting around the nurse’s station with several residents.  Her friends, as well as, mom are sleeping with their heads lowered to their chests.  I seated myself on her walker so when she woke up I was at eye level with her.  Then I gently rubbed her arm while I in a soft tone said, “Mom, I’m here.”  Mom raised her head while slowly opening her eyes; she always smiles when she sees me sitting in front of her and this day was no different.  Even though I spoke softly, the ladies next to mom, both raised their heads to smile and greet me.  Darlene* normally asks me about the weather, but lately she wants to know the progress of my foot. 

“Julienne . . .  glad you’re here . . . they’re moving me,” mom said anxiously.

“Mom, who is trying to move you?”

“Someone . . . G and A’s taking me.  Does my daughter know?”

“Mom, I will talk to your nurse. I will be right back.”

When I asked Billie* if someone wanted to move my mom, she shook her head in disappointment and told me that mom is confused.  Billie told me that mom’s CNA aide called in sick today.  The aide who helped mom dress earlier mentioned to mom that her regular CNA aide would come to help her dress and wash up tomorrow.    She may have said that the CNA would come and get her meaning take care of her.  Mom heard that someone was going to get her tomorrow so she was worried.  Mom is now misinterpreting what people are saying to her.  She has taken something simple and scared herself into thinking that someone is coming to get her and take her some place.

Billie* had reiterated to mom several times already that morning what the aide was trying to tell her.  Mom apparently did not understand.

In the next hour, I tried to explain to mom what her aide way trying to tell her.  She would listen; she looked like she understood.  However, five minutes later she would bring it up again.  I would again try to explain what the aide meant.  Once again she accepted my explanation.  In the course of our time she brought that subject up seven times.  Each time she accepted my explanation, but each time her brain would forget what I had told her as if we never discussed her problem.  This saddened me as I felt helpless.  How do I help mom understand what is going on?

I can only imagine how scary this simple misunderstanding is for mom. She truly believes someone is going to take her.  I tried to assure her that I would not let anything happen to her.  But when I left that day I knew something was taking her . . . something I do not know how to stop . . . dementia.