Night and Day

 

On Thursday, Mom’s morning started out poorly.  Mom was extremely weak and cold.  Thursday’s are shower day for mom.  Initially, the aide spoke with mom’s nurse to see if she should still give her a shower.  The nurse thought that a warm shower might make mom feel better.  Taking a shower made mom feel worse.  She started to tremble; her mouth turned blue.

Good news was that Jamie walked in to visit mom.  The staff was glad to see him so he could comfort mom. They told him what happened this morning.  He found mom shaking.  She was dressed and draped in blankets.   Mom had a hard time breathing on her own so she was placed back on oxygen.  When mom saw Jamie she said, “Did they call you to come?”

“No, mom, I just wanted to see you.  Thursdays are my normal day.”

“I feel bad today.”

Just then her doctor’s physician assistant was on the phone.  Mom’s nurse told her that mom had a slight fever of 99.1.  Mom had an upper respiratory infection.  The doctor’s assistant prescribed an antibiotic.

Mom had not eaten this morning, but now it was lunch time.  Mom was not hungry, but her nurse stressed that mom must eat.   An aide said she would make sure mom would eat something.

Mom hugged Jamie before he left, “Remember I love you.”

“I love you, too, mom.”

 

The nurse told Jamie that was all they could do for mom.

Ironically Jamie was meeting me for lunch.  He shared the morning’s events.  I immediately wanted to see mom, but I thought I should call first and talk to her nurse. 

Billy*, mom’s nurse, asked me if I had spoken to my brother.  She reinforced that mom was having a bad day, but that she was resting now.  She said mom ate a little something and that they started her on antibiotics.  I asked Billy if she thought I should come over now;  she said, “No your mom will be OK.” 

“Tomorrow is her beauty shop day; do you think she will be able to go?”

“Let’s wait till tomorrow and see,” Billy said.

I wanted to do what was best for mom so I decided to wait and go on Friday because I did not want to scare mom into thinking she was really bad off.  I prayed that I was making the right decision.

Later that evening, I received an email from my brother, Jerome.  “Saw mom tonight-actually fed her dinner-she ate pretty well-has weakened considerably.  I am sure you know.”

My heart sank.  Was tonight the night?  Should I be there?  Was mom scared?  I panicked and once again drove Ron crazy with all my questions.  Ron said, “Enough with the guilt trips; you’re going to make yourself sick!”

I emailed Jerome basically saying, “What should I do?”  but in many more words.  I did not hear back. I knew he was busy preparing to go to Ohio to see Michael’s soccer tournament.  I feel Jerome not seeing my message till the following morning was probably for the best because I would have really startled mom if I had shown up at 9PM or after when she would hopefully be sleeping.

Once again I prayed, “Lord, help me make good decisions. Please let me be able to spend time with mom tomorrow.”