One of Those Days



On Thursday, I was headed to The Community* to see if my mom had changed her mind about having her hair done by Jeanne*.  Mom has been doing pretty well considering.  Jeanne* had held her appointment for her this morning.  I was going to let mom make the call.

When I arrived at The Community*, mom was still eating lunch.  I had just left my foot doctor hoping for good news that I was going to be able to remove my fashionable air boot that I have become accustomed to for the past several weeks.  Although the doctor informed me that the air boot would be necessary for at least two more weeks, I am still thankful that I am walking without assistance from crutches.  

It was 12:15PM; I was a little early; mom and I did not need to leave until 12:30PM to make mom’s hair appointment on time.  So I went to mom’s room to make sure everything was just the way she likes her room and closet to be.  While I was in there, mom’s nurse Tina wheeled mom in her room to use the restroom. 

“Hi Mom, I came over to see if you would like to go get your hair done by Jeanne*.  It is your decision.  Remember Jeanne* said she would hold your appointment just in case you changed your mind.”

“OK, Julienne, one more time.  Today is the last one. Let’s go.”

“Are you sure, mom?”

“C’mon let’s go.”

Putting on mom’s coat without help from an aide or nurse has become difficult, but fortunately someone is always more than willing to help us.

As I wheeled mom outside The Community*’s entrance towards my car, we saw Antoinette*, mom’s hospice aide, who offered to help put mom in the car.  In the past, mom has needed very little assistance.  I normally just stand right alongside her to assist her and make sure she does not lose her balance and fall.  This day was not like the others.  Mom could not even raise one leg.  As Antoinette* and I tried to be very gentle with mom while assisting her, mom started to moan.   I stopped immediately.  “Mom, no more going in my car your body is too weak.  I will not put you in any pain.”

Antoinette* said, “I can lift her and put her in.”

“No, thank you, I refuse to make mom any more uncomfortable than she is already.  This is a sign.”

“C’mon, Julienne, this is the last time.”

“No mom, you were right last week.  You are too weak.  If you are feeling pain going into my car, chances are you are going to feel pain coming out.  I’m not going to put you through that.  We will figure something else out.”

Antoinette* walked us back in and stated, “Gilda, I can come tomorrow morning before you get out of bed and wash your hair in the comfort of your own bed.  I do that for many residents.”

“I don’t want to freeze,” mom said.

“You won’t freeze; I’ll take good care of you and keep you warm,” Antoinette* said in a caring way.

“Mom, I will come here first thing in the morning tomorrow.  I will help Antoinette* and make sure you are warm.”

“Julienne, let’s forget it.  I don’t need my hair washed anymore.”

Wheeling mom back upstairs to the nurses’ station, I convinced her to try having her hair washed in bed one time to see if that was a better way for her.  I promised I would meet Antoinette at 7:30AM.  I said I would bring my hair dryer and curling iron to style mom’s hair like Jeanne* does for her.

While mom and I were sitting holding hands, I pulled out a bag of Cracker Jack that I had brought to share with her.  “Mom, I saw this at the grocery store. I know you used to love Cracker Jack.”  I opened up the box.

 

Mom put one piece in her mouth and said, “I don’t like them anymore; they stick to my teeth.”

“No problem.”

Just then I heard Shirley*, the activities director,  say that she was going to be doing Bingo soon.  I said, “Mom, I will wheel you into the activity room so you will be ready for Bingo.”

“I’m not going to play Bingo anymore.”

“Mom, why don’t you want to play?”

“Julienne, all the stuff goes together hard for me to see anymore.”

“Mom, what would you like to do?”

“Move me by Darlene*. I’ll take a nap.”

I gave mom some water before I left and sat mom right next to her good friend, Darlene*.  I assured her that I would be back tomorrow morning at 7:30AM.  I hugged and kissed her.  We blew kisses as always. 

Arriving home that day, I went to clean out my car as I did the box of Cracker Jack fell all over the garage floor.  Of course, I cleaned the floor before my dogs could eat the Carmel corn.  Later that day when I looked in the mirror I noticed I was now only wearing one earring.  Maybe trying to put mom in my car, my diamond earring came loose and fell out.  Some days all one’s efforts are in vain.