Daughter's Eulogy

Monday, November 26, 2012

Our Thanksgiving Experience


 

On the way to our house, we planned to swing thru the drive-thru at McDonalds to pick up a cheeseburger for mom’s lunch since the turkey would not be ready until 4PM today. Although Ron had heard that McDonalds was open on Thanksgiving, they were not open for the lunch crowd.

While Mom sat in the front seat talking to Ron, I called my brothers from the back seat.  I let them know that Mom was on the way to my home right now and that she was planning on staying overnight.  I suggested that they come when they could because I had no idea how mom would feel as the day grew longer.

When we arrived at the house, Ron helped mom up our garage stairs to our utility room which was by no means an easy task.  Once mom reached the top she sat back in her transporter wheelchair.  Our dogs, Baci and Porsha, both gave mom some love.  She loved the attention.

I heated a pepperoni pizza for us for lunch and cut mom’s slice in bite-size pieces.  She seemed to enjoy the pizza with an Arnold Palmer (tea and lemonade).

Even though our kitchen was extremely warm due to cooking the turkey since early morning, mom felt cold.  Mom wore a beautiful matching top underneath a deep rose-colored sweater. I found another warm sweater that I helped her put on over what she was wearing, however, mom still complained that she was cold.

I grabbed my warmest blanket in my family room which is faux fur. Mom loved the warmth and the feel of this blanket, but asked me if I could wrap the blanket all the way up around her neck.  Wanting to make mom happy, I did.  She looked like a wheelchair mummy with her head just popping out.  Finally, mom was toasty and happy. 

“Julienne, how does my hair look?”

“Would you like me to curl it for you?”

Mom shook her head, “Yes.”

Ron kept an eye on mom, while I raced upstairs to grab the curling iron and a brush.  When I came downstairs, I also put a little blush on mom to make her feel good.  As soon as I finished mom’s hair, mom fell fast asleep.

Ron and I continued preparing Thanksgiving dinner, but kept mom close to us at all times.  We did not want her to wake up and be confused about where she was.

When mom woke up, she was a little hungry and wanted to munch on the mixed nuts.  I showed her that I had a special treat for her . . . lupines which has been an Italian Thanksgiving tradition since we were growing up.  Lupines are an Italian bean snack that you eat with salt sprinkled on them.  Mom loved them and ate quite a few.
 
Around 1:30pm mom said, “Julienne, I am starting to feel anxious.  I'm uncomfortable.”

“Mom, I will give you your pills now.”  I know that her anxiety medicine could be given to her anytime after 1pm, however, most of the time they prefer to wait until 2pm to give her the medication.

Mom swallowed the pills, but kept repeating that she was uncomfortable.

I reassured her several times in the next 15 minutes that the medicine would start to work and she would start feeling better.  At last, the affects of the medicine kicked in.

The doorbell rang; Jamie had stopped by at 2pm before going over to Tracy’s mom’s home for their 2:30pm Thanksgiving dinner.  Mom was sure glad to see him; Jamie told her he would be back to join us for dinner by 4:30pm.

Shortly thereafter, Mom and Dad Lentz came over.  Dad watched the football game while Mom Lentz sat with Mom Mascitti at the kitchen table.  My good fortune is that they both have always liked each other’s company.

Remembering that I had just updated a book of Mom Mascitti’s (Portelli was her last name growing up) art drawings when she was a teenager, I showed the book to both of them. Mom was a talented artist when she was a teenager, but she came from an extremely poor family.  No one in her family realized that mom could have made money as an artist. 

Mom’s favorite characters to draw were from the Brenda Starr comic strip.  As I turned each page, mom said the names of each character she had drawn.  This book was filled with wonderful memories for mom.   Mom Lentz complimented mom on her beautiful drawings which made mom feel great. 

Mom saw the reflection of someone at our window-paned front door . . . Jerome and Debbie were here.  They had decided to come early also. Mom was glad to see them and happier that Jerome sat right alongside mom at the kitchen table to talk to her.  
 
Things were going pretty well until about 3:30pm when mom became highly impatient.  She kept asking if it was time to eat yet.  Although we were eating appetizers now, dinner was not going to be served until 4:30pm when Jamie was scheduled to come back.  Tommy (the turkey)  was not even done cooking. 

Mom insisted that she wanted to eat so she could go back to The Community* to go to bed.  I said, “Mom, I have all your medication, pajamas and clothes for you to sleep here tonight.”

Mom looked at me angrily as though I had lost my mind.  “Why would I want to do this?  I have to go back to my own bed, Julienne!”

“Mom, when we came to visit you today, you asked if you could sleep at my home tonight so I told the nurse and she gave me all your medicine and the extra oxygen tanks.”

“Julienne, you are making up this story.  I would never want to sleep here.   I want to go back to my bed.”

I stopped disagreeing.  “OK, mom, as soon as we are done with dinner I will take you back.”

“I must be back by 6pm.”  Mom said as if she was Cinderella and something would happen to her if she arrived any later than 6pm.

“Mom, I promise, I will have you back by 6pm.”
 
Sandy and Pete and Matt and Michael all arrived by 4pm.

I went back in the kitchen and continued to wait on everyone while Jerome sat next to mom trying to calm her down. He explained that we were waiting for Jamie and Tracy.
I went back over by mom because mom seemed to be panicking. She asked me to call Jamie and see where he was at.  When I called Jamie at 4:20pm, he was on the way.  Mom said, “He’ll understand.  I have to eat now.”  With that, Jerome wheeled mom into the dining room and I made her plate. 
I suggested that we all begin and Jamie and Tracy would join us as soon as they arrived.  As everyone made their plates and sat down, Jamie and Tracy were here.  Once we were all seated, we all held hands and prayed the ‘Our Father’ and of course mom said the prayer in entirety.

Mom loves crispy turkey wings and polish sausage; Ron made them just the way mom likes them.  I cut her wing which seemed huge on her plate.

Jerome helped to feed her while I went to make my own plate. Just as soon as I sat down, mom turned to me and said, “Julienne, let’s go.  I gotta be back by 6pm.”  I tried to explain that the time was not even 5pm yet. I promised she would be back by 6pm, but mom was uncomfortable in her own skin.  Nothing I could say or do was going to settle her down.

As I took my first bite of food mom said, “Julienne, eat faster.  C’mon take me home.”  I ate very little  due to mom’s panic attack which might have been a blessing in disguise.

I stood up from the table and told mom I needed to collect all her things and pack the car so I could take her back.  I had brought two garbage bags filled of items that I needed to return to The Community* including mom’s medication and oxygen tanks. 

Before leaving mom needed to use the restroom, while we were in there mom said, “Julienne, I ask God to bless your every step.”

“Thank you, mom, I love you tons and tons.”

“I love you more, but I want to go home.  I never want to do this again.”

I knew mom had had a nice time, but this was her anxiety talking now so I did not take her comments the wrong way.

Mom and I went back in the dining room so everyone could hug and kiss mom and say goodnight.  I asked for a gentleman volunteer to help me take mom home because I am unable to physically lift mom due to my brain tumor weight restrictions.  Fortunately, Michael, Ron and my godson volunteered.

Our adventures for the evening did not end here, but my blog for today will.
 

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