I hurried up to Mom Mascitti as now I was running a little late. I like to allow an extra half hour before she has to leave for her salon appointment to make sure her oxygen tank is full; she has taken her medicine; she has gone to the toilet; and I have enough time to find her nurse and sign mom out.
Mom’s anxiety was extremely high today. She pointed out immediately that the night aide who she does not like hid one of her new black shoes on purpose. The morning aide could not find it hence she was wearing her new white ones.
Earlier that week, mom’s feet were swollen from water retention so I went and purchased two pairs of Danskin shoes with Velcro so the aides could put them on mom’s feet easily without hurting her. The hospice nurse suggested buying her shoes at least another whole size larger, so I did. When mom saw the shoes in black and white, she thought two pairs were too extravagant. She wanted me to take one pair back. Thank God I did not because one of the black shoes had gone missing.
I searched mom’s room; I could not find mom’s right shoe.
When we headed towards the car Mom said, “Julienne, thank God you are calm because I am a basketcase today.”
“Mom, please do not worry about your missing shoe. If we cannot find the other shoe, I will buy you another pair.”
“Julienne, that’s not the point. Don’t you understand?”
“Mom, I am trying the best I could.”
“I know you are, but the night person is mean to me. She calls me every name in the book. She tells me to shut up because I ask too many questions. She throws my clothes around. She mistreats me.”
“Mom, I do not want you to be mistreated. When we get back, I will talk to your nurse. I will report the night aide.”
After mom told the whole story to her beautician and had her hair done; Mom’s anxiety seemed to die down a bit. I asked mom if she still wanted to go to McDonalds for her favorite cheeseburger.
“Yes, let’s try,” she said.
When we arrived at McDonalds, I made the mistake of asking her if instead of ordering a Double Cheeseburger likes she has always ordered but only eats half, why not order a single cheeseburger that way she could eat it all. She initially thought my idea was a good one. However, after her first bite into the single cheeseburger. She shook her head and said, “No, this is not as good.”
“Mom, stop eating the Single Cheeseburger. I’ll go in and buy you a Double Cheeseburger.”
“No, Julienne, next time order me a Double Cheeseburger.”
“OK, Mom, I’ll order you a Double Cheeseburger next time.”
I should have known better. Why in the world would I try to change something mom loves? Next time she’ll have a Double Cheeseburger!
I drove back to The Community* and as we were just about to get onto the elevator, Aunt Jay walked in. Aunt Jay and Mom were both very nice to each other. I asked mom if we should show Aunt Jay the beautiful garden with the baby ducks, fish and the beautiful birds. She agreed. We all sat out there for a short while until mom said she was too hot.
Mom wanted to go and talk to her nurse to talk about her lost shoe and the night aide, so we all went up to the second floor. Mom did show Aunt Jay her room while I once again searched for her missing shoe there. Aunt Jay brought Mom a People magazine. Mom explained she does not ever read magazines. I suggested she might want to look at the pictures. Mom asked me to put the People in her night stand. Many things go into mom’s night stand or drawers where they are never seen again by mom.
I reported the missing shoe to mom’s hospice nurse and told her about the night aide. She said she would talk to mom’s nurse and report the incident. I cautioned the hospice nurse that I am not sure if mom is being mistreated or not due to other things that mom has said that do not appear to be true. But I told her I also do not want my mom mistreated. The hospice nurse agreed and we both went to tell her regular nurse. Her regular nurse said she would look into the situation. Both nurses assured me they would do their best to also find mom’s shoe.
Aunt Jay and I left mom. We went to visit Mom Lentz. We just stayed a short while. Aunt Jay had made Mom Lentz biscotti’s or in Italian we call them ‘bru-skees’ not sure the proper spelling. Unfortunately, Mom Lentz would have to wait until she gets the OK from her doctor to have any sweets. I had to eat one immediately; they were delicious as you might have guessed.
In the next blog, we will continue the search for her missing shoe.