Daughter's Eulogy

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Dementia and the Devil

Tonight I am writing this overdue retraction to my blog titled “Mom’s Needs First”. 

Mom’s mental and physical needs are my top priority.  There should be no question on my intentions when I react to anyone or anything that could aggravate mom’s condition.  However, I jumped the gun when I heard that a family member had said something to mom that hurt her feelings. 

I know that this person loves mom and that he would never try to hurt her.  My first thought when mom told me is to wonder if he did not realize how delicate her condition has been. I thought maybe he said the statement innocently, but did not know how she would react.

 So naturally, I thought let me inform other family who may be thinking of visiting what not to do.  Prior to his visit, I had considered telling anyone who wanted to visit my recommendations, but I never made the time until mom mentioned that statement.

The truth is HE NEVER SAID that hurtful statement to my mom!
After reading my blog he was hurt himself; I do not blame him.  He would never have said something so insensitive.  The intention of his visit was to let mom know how much he loved her.  He wanted to spend quality time with her alone.  The truth is (which I heard from a good source) that he took her for a walk and they had a wonderful conversation.

Why did my mom tell me something entirely different?  I have to believe that her dementia was and is taking over her mind.  In one of my earlier blogs, I mentioned that mom’s psychiatrist told me that her dementia was progressing rapidly.  At that same time, the doctor alerted me that mom may tell me things that never happened, but they are real to her because they happen in her mind.  This is a mean trick that the Devil uses to make mom’s last days miserable. 

Mom has always been clinically depressed; I am not sharing anything new that I have not mentioned to you before.  When mom told me the comment, I reacted without remembering what her doctor had told me because I was there so soon after the relative’s visit, I would not have thought she had time to concoct this crazy story in her mind.  But she did.

I deeply apologize to him and his family because several of our wonderful family members who care about mom were not too pleased with the comment which HE NEVER said.  I wish God made me perfect, but he did not.   

All I can say is I am never too proud to say “I am sorry”.  

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