Until We Hug Again

 

My dad who was one of my favorite people in my life passed away on Christmas Eve in 1989.  I carry his photo with me every day. To preserve this treasured photo, I laminated it.  Each and every time I open my wallet, dad is there smiling back at me.  I have often imagined him asking me if I really need to make that purchase or would my money be better in the bank.   No matter how hard I try what I cannot remember is the sound of dad’s voice. 

During this past week, what I am already starting to miss most about mom is not being able to communicate with her.   Her voice is a whisper at best.  I miss our recent memorable and touching conversations about how much we mean to each other.  I decided that is not going to happen to me again.  Now with mom in her present stage; she has few words that she can say.   However, I am not going to let her voice slip away. 

Fortunately many months ago before mom had a stroke, I had saved a recording that she had sent me.  The message is so sweet and loving that I wanted to keep it.  I have listened to her recording many times always concerned that some time by accident I might delete it.  Over the years, I have had many phone messages that I wanted to save and yet time and time again somehow they were deleted.  I could not let that happen again.

I remembered when I was reading the Sunday paper last week that I saw a sales advertisement insert for Hallmark.  The item that caught my eye was a Teddy Bear called Until We Hug Again.  What makes this bear special is a voice recorder planted inside.  When I mentioned my idea to Ron after we had just visited with mom, he drove me immediately over to a Hallmark store.

 

Once there I had the option of a Teddy Bear or a Pink Bunny Rabbit.  There was no question in my mind that the bear was for me.  Although the recordable plush is clearly meant for Grandparents to give to their grandchildren, we saw no reason why I should not have this keepsake of my mom’s voice and her kind message to me. 

When we arrived home, Ron and I together transferred mom’s message on to the bear’s recorder.  My bear now sits in my bookshelf as my writing muse.  Anytime I feel a need to hear mom’s voice all I need to do is hug the bear.  In her message, mom is trying to comfort me before an appointment I had with my neurosurgeon.  During the recording, mom’s voice sounds heavy. She seems to be having a shortness of breath, but her message is priceless.

“Julienne, this is mom.  I wanted you to know that if Ron can’t be there with you or either of you thinks I should be there with you tomorrow; I would be more than happy to come.  I don’t want to make a nuisance of myself.  I wanted you to know that I just said a rosary for you.  May God help you and be with you.  I love you.”

My bear’s name is ‘Mom’.  She will be with me forever even when mom can’t.  I will hear mom’s voice with every hug.