Comforted by Prayer

 

Later that afternoon, Mom and Dad Lentz, Ron, and I met Alyssa and Wes for candlelight Christmas Eve Service.  As we walked in we chose a white candle to hold and light at the end where the most comforting words would be spoken “Jesus is the Light of the world.”

During the lighting of the candle ceremony tears ran down my face as I knew that just last year mom was standing next to me.   We have attended Christmas Eve Mass or Service together since dad died at 3:37 pm on Christmas Eve 24 years ago.

 

 

 

Additionally the special prayer mom and I say each time were together is ‘Mom is the Light.’  She seems most comforted knowing that Jesus lies within her, protecting her, surrounding her, guiding her and giving her peace. 

Shortly thereafter, we all headed to Jamie and Tracy’s for dinner.  Their home looked magnificent as always at Christmastime.  When the toast was said we prayed for all our family members who we loved that had already passed away.  We prayed for mom.  

The saddest part for me was the absence of mom.  I knew she could not physically or mentally join us, I spoke up, “To me this is one of the toughest things to be able to enjoy our Christmas celebration without mom while she is alive, but not coherent.  I truly understand that mom is where she needs to be, but the feeling of emptiness still lingers inside me.”

When Ron and I arrived home, we started watching another Christmas Hallmark movie and quickly fell asleep.  I woke up at 3am only to lay in bed for over an hour just thinking about mom and if she was sleeping peacefully tonight.  I tossed and turned, but there seemed no rest was to be had so I crawled out of bed and went into my walk-in closet.  Something I do when I am nervous or feel anxious is clean and organize.  So yes, you guessed right at 4am on Christmas morning, I was cleaning my closet.  I cleaned for over an hour.

As I was cleaning, I found a gift mom had given me years ago:  a rosary.  This rosary was given to mom from someone who had visited Medjugorje.    I do not believe in coincidences, I believe everything happens for a reason. 

Mom used to pray the rosary several times a week.  Many times she has prayed a rosary for me and my brothers when we needed prayers.  Now I was holding her rosary in my hands.   I gently sat on my vanity bench that I sometimes use as a stepping stool to put things up or take things down from my top shelf.  When I sat down, I looked up at the crucifix that I have hanging in my closet. This crucifix was on my dad’s casket.  The crucifix reminds me that dad is with Jesus. 

Then I did what I have not done in years.  I dropped to my knees and prayed the rosary.   Kneeling was especially difficult for me right now because I just had toe surgery, but my foot seemed to be protected by the air boot I was wearing.  After I finished praying the rosary, I walked out of the closet only to fall fast asleep in bed . . .  comforted by a clean closet and prayer.