Friends Forever

Last Friday was a wonderful day for mom.  When I first saw her she was just coming out of the restroom, she said, “I’m ready.”

 

“Terrific.  Let’s go.”

 

We had a pleasant visit with Joanne*, her beautician. 

 

 

Mom asked about my vacation to the Dominican Republic.  Mom was upset to hear, I lost my phone on vacation in the Dominican Republic.  I said I would be getting a new one over the weekend, but for right now I had to use an old phone.

 

Mom and I picked up our pepperoni pizza from California Pizza Kitchen and brought our food back to the garden room.  Just as we were finishing Anita and her husband, Bill, walked into the garden room.  I mentioned to mom earlier that they would be visiting her today.  Mom’s comment when was, “Julienne, I get tired.  I hope our visit is not too long.”  I assured her when she had enough to let us know.

 

Anita is mom’s cousin, but more importantly mom has always felt a special closeness with her. I always felt that Anita was mom’s best friend although mom never said those words. Mom says the nicest things about her and lights up anytime she is around Anita. Mom has reacted that way to Anita ever since I can remember.  

Just as we were about to get up from the table mom said, “Julienne, I wish you had your phone so you could take a picture of us.”  Mom is so used to me taking photos of her.  She really enjoys that part of our time together.

 

Enthusiastically I said, “Mom, guess what?  I thought you might want a photo so I brought my camera.”

 

“That’s great, Julienne.  Where should we take it”?

 

We took a few pictures in order to make sure mom had a nice one.  I was glad I anticipated mom wanting a photo of them.

 

 

 

Mom was very happy to see them. She really enjoyed their company.  When they left mom said quietly, “There was a lot of love here today.”  At first, I was not sure if I heard her correctly.  But when I asked mom what she said she repeated the same thing.  This time I answered, “Yes, mom you’re right lots of love today.”

 

“Today was a great day.  I am glad they came.”

 

“I agree mom; I’m glad you feel that way.”


 

Someday Finally Came

Last Sunday when Ron and I sat with mom outside, I mentioned to mom that I had something to show her.  “Mom another one of my short stories was chosen for Chicken Soup for the Soul.  This edition is called ‘Hooked on Hockey’.  I wrote a story about one of Ron’s favorite memories about Dad Lentz taking him to a hockey game when he was a child.  Now after Mom and Dad moved back to Chicago Ron took Dad to a hockey game this year.  My story is called ‘Someday Finally Came.’”

 

Mom asked me to read the story to her.  After I finished she said, “That’s a nice story. Do Ron and Annette like the book?”

“They have not seen the book yet.  When we arrived home from vacation, the book was in my mail.”

 “Mom, God works in mysterious ways!  Ask, Julienne, what makes this extra special,” Ron said excitedly.

Mom looked at me puzzled.

“Mom, the book arrives in bookstores this Tuesday, September 18^th.  The date is very important.  It is Ron’s sister, Linda’s birthday.  This month is three years since she passed away from lung cancer.”

 

 

 “Julienne is going to give Mom and Dad the book on Linda’s birthday. Hopefully the story will let them know how much they are loved and how happy we are that they moved back,” Ron commented.

Mom nodded her head, “I’m sure they’ll like it.”

“Mom, this is my 3rd story in someone else's book; someday soon I am going to bring you a book with my name on the front cover.”

“I’m sure you will.”

“September 18th is also Frankie’s birthday.  She was Ron and my first dog.  Do you remember her, mom?”

Mom nodded again, “Yes, she was a good dog.”

“Julienne, will you get me some water? My mouth is dry.”

As I walked inside The Community* to search for a glass of water, mom said to Ron, “My daughter’s so talented.”

When Ron and I were on the way home Ron told me about their conversation.   I have accomplished many goals in my life, but I never felt as good as hearing mom’s words of support now. I have waited years to hear them.

“Someday Finally Came” seems an appropriate title for mom and me, too.

Say What?

 



Two weeks ago The Community* called to check if we wanted mom to receive a flu shot this year.  Being a strong believer in having a flu shot each year myself, I absolutely wanted mom to have one.  After all not only are senior citizens at high risk for developing serious complications stemming from influenza, but people with COPD are at even a higher risk.

Mom had her flu shot given to her on a Tuesday, when I saw her that following Friday she appeared lifeless and confused.  She had told me that she had been that way for the past few days.  She did not feel like doing much of anything.  After her beauty shop appointment that Friday, we went to McDonalds where mom was so tired she could barely eat half of a double cheeseburger (from my past blogs you are aware that this is quite unusual for mom).  I worried that mom’s sluggishness and loss of appetite was due to a side effect from the flu shot.

As soon as we arrived back at The Community*, I spoke to Billy* mom’s nurse and Dana* mom’s hospice nurse who both felt that mom would be OK.   The next day I left for the Dominican Republic and prayed mom would feel better in the days that followed.  When I received the notes from Jamie and Sandy after their visits with mom last week, it reconfirmed  that her nurses were right.

Yesterday after returning from our vacation, Ron and I visited mom to find her back doing great.  She was glad we all had a wonderful vacation, but even happier that we were now home. 

Mom had a lot of pep.  She wanted to go for a walk outside.  The weather was gorgeous and mom was glad to be out in the fresh air.  Mom gives herself goals when she’s walking without actually even realizing that she does.  Her next goal is always the next park bench.  Fortunately, mom’s walker has a built-in seat just in case she feels like she needs to take a break before the next park bench.

My comment to her is that there is no hurry and to take her time and just enjoy the walk. I let her know that she can stop and take as many breaks as she feels necessary.  Mom did very well, stopping and sitting for a few moments at the first three park benches.  While we were sitting on the last park bench mom stated that she walked all the way to the gazebo with Jamie recently, but that today this was as far as she could go.

While Mom sat with Ron on the park bench, I pulled out my camera.  Mom said, “Julienne really makes good use of her camera.”

“OK, say cheese.”

Ron said, “Cheese” and Mom said, “TV”.

“Mom, did I hear you say TV?”

“Yes, I thought that’s what you told me to say!”

“OK, let’s try it again.  Everyone now say ‘TV’”

With that comment, Ron and mom both laughed.  Here’s their photo:

No More Guilt

 

In the last six months, mom and I truly look forward to the time we spend together. Needless to say when I go on vacation, I feel guilty leaving her.  I have these feelings because mom used to put me on guilt trips when I was growing up.  However times have changed.  More importantly mom has changed; mom no longer puts me on guilt trips. 

When I told her that Ron and I were going to the Dominican Republic for eight days to celebrate Mom and Dad Lentz's 60th Wedding Anniversary and Dad Lentz's 80th Birthday, mom was accepting of the idea.  Mom sadly said she would miss me, but wished that we all would have a wonderful time. 

Mom has really grown as a person and so have I. 

Before I left, I informed my brothers of my trip so they were aware that The Community* might get in touch with them if mom needs something while I am gone.  In addition, Sandy is always kind enough to take mom to her beauty shop appointment so mom does not miss her favorite day of the week.  I know mom is in good hands.

While I was gone, Jamie sent me a reassuring email to let me know that he had seen mom on Saturday.  (I had just taken mom to the beauty shop the day before.)  He stated mom was ok, but kind of blue that I was going to be gone for a while.

Jamie had a wonderful idea:  he and mom prayed for Mom and Dad Lentz, Ron and I to have a wonderful, relaxing vacation. He also reassured her I would be back in a few days. After they prayed, mom was in better spirits.  When Jamie visited her later that week, mom was feeling great. Anytime I leave her, even though I love traveling, I worry about her.   His thoughtful email came with great relief for me.

 

Our Puerto Plata vacation with Mom and Dad Lentz was a wonderful celebration that we will treasure for a lifetime.

 

Bears Colors

 

Friday walking into The Community* was like a pep rally before a big game.  Most of the staff was wearing Bears colors for the Bears Opening Game on Sunday. For the past week there has been a flyer posted in the elevator asking everyone to wear blue and orange on Friday.  I knew I would be back on Friday, but I never gave the theme day a second thought.

Prior to arriving there to take mom to the beauty shop, I did not remember about their request to support the Bears.  However somewhere in my subconscious, their suggestion must have become engraved in my mind. 

When I walked in everyone who saw me commented that I was wonderful to participate.  The truth is a cold front came in the night before making our weather forecast for Friday in the low 70s a perfect day for blue jeans and a light top. Wearing those colors were just meant to be.

To my surprise mom was also wearing Bears colors.
 

 

 “Mom you are supporting the Bears.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are wearing an orange turtleneck and navy pants.  Those are the Bears football colors.”

“Julienne, I don’t know their colors.  She dressed me like this.”

“Mom, you look adorable.”

On Sunday after the Bears defeated the Colts with a score of 41 vs. 21, I remembered mom in her Bears colors . . . just maybe her unintentional support brought them good luck.  I would like to think that way.

A Lovely Visit

 

Last Friday, when mom and I were just finishing our Italian beef sandwich,  Marlene joined us in the garden room.  We sat and chatted a while until mom gave us the heads up that she was ready to do something else.  Mom agreed to go outside for a walk.  As we strolled outside, mom sat and rested on the first bench we came to stating, “I don’t think I can go much further today.”

“Today is a beautiful day.  Mom, it is nice just sitting right here.”

We all talked for a few minutes then mom said, “OK let’s move.”

“You’re the boss, mom.  Where should we go?’ We walked to the outside garden where we sat at one of the tables near the beautifully landscaped pond for a little while when mom proclaimed, “I’m ready to move.”

We headed upstairs where mom showed Marlene her bedroom. Mom said, “OK, I had enough.” She wanted to go sit with everyone else in the round just outside the activity room so we walked there with mom.  The activity board was right above when mom was sitting. The time was 1:18; mom wanted to rest.   I told her they were having Karaoke at 2PM.  She smiled. We hugged, kissed and told each other we love each other. Then mom said, “It was enough, wasn’t it.” I know she meant the tour and the time she spent with Marlene.  Mom is not used to having company outside of her immediate family.

“Yes, mom, we had a nice visit.”

Then I gave her another hug and kiss.  Mom said, “Please tell Jamie, I love him and I hope he feels better.”

“Mom, I promise I will.”

Mom wished Marlene and me both a nice day and I know she meant it. 

No Means No

 

 

The Community* was having a Hawaiian Luau for residents and their families last Friday night.  Originally when I received the flyer, I thought the luau might be something mom would enjoy.  Unfortunately when I brought the luau up to mom she asked what time it started.   When I told that the luau began at 7pm.  Mom was clear that she had no desire to attend.  In mom’s present condition she likes to eat at 5pm and get ready for bed at 7pm. 

When I saw Shirley*, the activities person, on Friday, she asked if I would be coming back later this evening for the Hawaiian Luau.  I said  Ron and I would have attended, but mom informed me the luau started too late.  Shirley* mentioned the luau would be good for mom.  I totally agree if the time of the luau was earlier.  I assured Shirley*  I would ask mom again. If mom changed her mind about attending the Hawaiian luau, we would be happy to accompany her.

Even though I had a pretty good idea that mom was not going to change her mind, I thought I would ask her one more time just in case mom had talked to any of the other residents and had second thoughts about attending.

“Mom, tonight The Community * is having a Hawaiian Luau.”

Mom questioned, “Doesn't it start late?”

“The luau starts at 7pm.”

“I get ready for bed at 7pm.”

“They are having Hawaiian food and dancers.”

Shaking her head mom stated, “I’m not interested.”

“Ron and I would be happy to come back and go with you.”

“If you and Ron want to go; go . . . I’m not going.”

“Ron and I do not want to go without you.”

“Julienne, are you listening to me?”

“Yes, mom, you do not have to have to attend.”

“OK, good.”

Mom is very comfortable with her routine; differentiating from her schedule makes mom anxious.  We want mom to feel safe and comfortable so we do not push mom into anything she does not want to participate in.  Mom joins in almost all the activities at The Community* so when she does not want to do something, I feel she should be allowed to make her own decision.  I am sure the Hawaiian Luau was very nice, but mom was happier not attending.

A Little Misunderstanding

 

 

My first stop on Friday was Edward Hospital to visit my brother, Jamie.  He had an emergency appendectomy and hernia operation the day before.  He was resting comfortably when I arrived, but woke up when he felt my presence next to him.  He told me that he was feeling so much better and being released as soon as the doctor had a chance to see him. 

My next stop was to pick up mom to take her to her beauty shop and then off to lunch.  While I was with mom, I mentioned the news about Jamie.  She was glad I had just seen him and knew first hand that he was feeling better.  She wanted me to make sure to tell him that she was glad to hear he was doing ok and that she loved him very much.  I promised that I would relay her message.

Mom had kept telling me that she wanted a beef sandwich.  She may have told me at least five times while she was getting her hair done.  However, when I pulled up to Portillo’s mom said, “What are we doing here?”

“Mom, you asked me for a beef sandwich.  You love Portillo’s beef sandwiches.”

“I meant hamburger.”

“Would you like me to go to McDonalds’?”

“No, don’t be silly.  We are here now.”