Mother Knows Best

 

 

Taking mom at her word is of utmost importance. 

When I saw mom on Monday, she told me that she peed in bed because no one came when she pressed her button.  Mom said, “Julienne, I keep telling them I pressed the button.  Can you check it?”

Dana* saw us speaking and came over to say hello.  “Would you please come with us to check mom’s call button? Mom says it does not work.”



I wheeled mom over to her room. Mom went in with Dana* to press the button while I stayed out to see if the light popped on.  Mom was right.



“I knew it,” Mom said.  “I told them, but no one believed me.”

“Mom,  let me know anytime you have a problem.  I am happy to help you. We will stay in your room until your call button works.”

Dana* called mom’s nurse who in turn called the maintenance man, Dave.  He came up and fixed the call button.  Mom and I did not leave her room until this situation was eliminated.

While we were in mom’s room, she said, “Check my drawers, Julienne, my nightgowns are missing.”

I immediately went over to mom drawers where I keep her nightgowns.   Again, mom was correct.  “How long have your nightgowns been missing?”

“Last night they could not find any.”

“What did you sleep in, mom?”

“Something that was opened in the back,” mom complained.

“That is not acceptable.  You have warm nightgowns. Mom, I will take care of this right now.”

I spoke with both Dana* and mom’s staffing nurse to let them know I was not happy.  The nurse said she would contact the laundry department and find out what was up.  I mentioned that mom has five nightgowns.  I find the situation difficult to believe that all five needed to be laundered at the same time. 

The nurse told us that laundry would need to look for them.  I gave her a description of all the missing nightgowns and she would make sure mom had at least one of them for tonight. 

 

The time was 11:45am and most of the residents were in the lunch room eating.   I wheeled mom  to her dining table so she could join her friends to eat.  After I put mom's terry cloth bib on, Lauren* greeted mom, "Gilda, today is your lucky day.  We are serving chicken wings  . . .  your favorite."  Mom grabbed one right away before I could take a photo of her three wings.

 

 

Indeed, today was mom's lucky day . . .  someone believed her.

Today I seemed to hug mom tighter than ever.  I felt so bad for her that she had problems that she needed me to take care of for her.  “Thank you, mom, for helping me  help you.  Always remember that is why I am here. I want you to know that you can tell me anything.” 

 

Mom smiled.   Mom was relieved to know that someone was listening.  More important was that someone believed her and looked into her problems.

As I passed mom’s room, I decided to take a photo of the lights on the outside of her room; Mom’s doctor saw me and said, “Is the light not working?”

I explained how mom had said she peed in bed the last few nights because her light was not working and when I checked her light mom was right.

 

 

Mom’s doctor was angry.  He handed me his business card with his answering service number and said, “Any time your mom complains, call me and I will handle her complaint immediately.”  As we were speaking, the head of nurses was walking down the hall towards us.  The doctor said, “Tell her what happened to Gilda.”   So I did.  She was deeply concerned and thanked me for letting her know.  She was glad mom's button worked and she assured me she would make sure mom’s nightgowns were found.

Being an advocate for a loved one's healthcare is of utmost importance. The role of an advocate is to listen, believe, care, and take necessary action to insure their loved one's comfort.

As I left once again I thought, “My, oh my, what does an aging person do without an advocate?”  Makes me sad to think about them.