Break from Blogging

Last two weeks have been super busy, but I did want to update you on visits with mom.

 

Mother’s Day was a real treat for Ron, mom and me.  Ron and I had stopped by Wing Stop to pick up chicken wings at mom’s request.   Wanting to make sure to please mom, Ron purchased both regular and crispy wings.  He asked to have the sauce on the side because mom prefers everything with no sauce. 

When we arrived at The Community*, Ron went to the Garden Room to make sure to reserve a table while I went upstairs to wheel mom down.   As I brought mom into the Garden Room, Ron said, “Mom, I tried but they got the order wrong.  The place put the sauces on all the chicken wings.”



“What am I going to eat?” worried mom.

“Mom try tasting the ones with the parmesan garlic on them.  If you don’t like them, I will go back and replace them,” Ron stated.

Surprisingly when mom tasted them, she said,  “They’re pretty good.”  Mom actually enjoyed them.

 

Mom was in an exceptional mood.  She told us that her favorite priest from St. Thomas the Apostle said mass there.  Mom said, “He was dressed in all white and when I saw him I said Oh My God How Wonderful.”

“How nice, mom, did he remember you?”

“Yes, I kissed his hand; he smiled.

”I’m so glad you attended his mass.”

“Me, too”

“He noticed my rosary,” mom said showing us the rosary around her neck. 

“You still like wearing the rosary like a necklace?”

“I remember to pray when I see it,” mom said smiling.

“Your rosary makes a lovely necklace mom.”

“Everyone likes it,” mom stated.

“I like it too.”

“Mom did you know that Julienne and I were in the newspaper this week?”  Ron said.

Mom looked at me, “About what?”

“The story is about Ron and I volunteering for Make-a-Wish for 20 years,”  I handed mom the newspaper article.

 

 

“How wonderful!  Has it been that long?”  Mom questioned.

“Time goes fast when you are having fun!” Ron joke.

Later that day, as Ron and I started to leave mom said, “You both are great people . . .  no I mean great children.   Have a wonderful trip!”



 

While Ron and I were in Marco spending quality time with our Marco Family, mom had a not so great week.  I received a call during the week that an evening aide gave mom a shower even though we had requested several months ago that mom no longer wanted to take showers.  During her last shower episode, mom lips turned blue and she shivered with the chills for hours.  Her experience frightened mom so much that she only wants to be sponge bathed.  Mom hates to be cold so I definitely sympathize with her. 

Dana* contacted me the day after to tell me of the incident.    What I do not understand is why the aide did not believe mom and why the aide first and foremost did not know of our families’ request.  I can only imagine the scene as mom is not afraid to vocalize when she is unhappy.  Dana* assured me that she wrote on every book that mom no longer receives showers, but as I mentioned to her we both thought someone had done that several months ago.  So where did the ball drop?  Who knows?  Next week is another care meeting for mom so I will find out.  Bottom line: we just want to make sure mom receives no more showers.

Then late afternoon on Friday, I received a call from social services informing me that mom had voiced a complaint.  Mom was upset; she had been left on the toilet for an hour.  The aide involved had disputed that mom had exaggerated her claim.  Nevertheless, The Community* is required to inform me any time mom has a complaint or an issue, a fall or a change in medical condition, or any medication changes.  I asked that she let mom know that she told me about her problem; and that I was on my way home from vacation;  and I would see her tomorrow.

So last Saturday morning, Ron and I went over to spend some quality time with mom.  Mom as always was happy to see us both.  We brought her favorite Portillos’ roast beef sandwich.  We expected to hear an earful from mom and that is exactly what we received.

While we were enjoying our beef sandwiches, mom said, “Did you hear today, they left me on the toilet again this morning for over an hour?”

“Mom, I spoke with someone yesterday.”

“Yes and today, too, over one hour.”

“How do you know how long it was?”

“Julienne, I look at my watch when they leave me and I look when they come back?”

“Mom, you are right.  You always have your watch on when I see you and you are always telling me what time it is or how long I have been with you.”

“Right,” mom confirmed.

“Mom, since I am finished eating, I will find whoever is in charge today to make sure they are aware of what happened.  Today is Memorial Weekend so a lot of the people we know are off during this holiday weekend.”

I went to the reception desk where the receptionist paged Stella* the head nurse.  She met me in the lobby, I explained mom’s situation and asked her if she would come and listen to the story from mom’s mouth.  She agreed; we both went to the lunchroom where Ron and mom had just finished their lunch.

Mom explained the mishap in detail; in fact she repeated some of the parts over and over.  (I sometimes catch myself repeating and fear what I will be like in later years. Hopefully someone will be patient with me or let me know nicely that I have previously told that story before.) 

What was most concerning was a statement mom said when she was describing her thoughts while she was sitting on the toilet, “God, I am going to get up.  If you want me to fall I guess I’ll fall, but I can’t sit any longer.” 

I immediately said, “Mom, we never want you to be left on the toilet. But please do not try and stand up.  You might fall and hurt yourself.”

Mom said, “I prayed first for God’s help.”

“I am glad you talked to God, but please try to pray for patience to wait for the aide.”

Stella* was very caring and thanked mom for bringing this matter to her attention.  Mom explained that this issue happened on the early shift around 5AM.  Unfortunately, mom cannot remember most of the staff’s name the only part she remembers besides this issue is that she had just complimented the aide prior to putting her on the toilet on how pretty she looked. 

Stella* apologized and mom felt better that she had spoken to someone with authority.  All of us are concerned that this does not happen again.    The weather was a little too cold to go for a walk, but I thought mom might enjoy just going out in their garden for awhile.



Before we left, the normal routine of organizing mom’s closet and drawers took place.  After we kissed mom she said, “Glad to have you back”.  We responded, “It’s great to be back.”

Last Wednesday was our first beautiful day since we came home from Marco, so I decided to spend a few hours with mom so she could enjoy the sunshine.  She was delighted to go outside and see the new plants and flowers that were in bloom.  Although the beautiful crab trees were no longer blooming there were so many new things that were. 

 

Growing up our yard was filled with a garland of lovely flowers, purple plum trees and a huge gorgeous magnolia tree.   Mom always loved the color purple so much so our home was even wall to wall carpeted in deep purple.   I found out today that some things never change.  As we strolled to the gazebo and fishing pond, we both admired the purple irises and the purple salvia that practically lined our entire walk.

 

We sat in the gazebo for quite a long time, sometimes talking, but much of the time in quiet looking out at the pond.  Our time together was peaceful.  After some time mom looked at her watch and said, “Julienne It’s after 2pm. “

“Did you want to play Bingo, mom?”

Mom questioned, “Do you mind?”  Then she quickly rebutted, “Never mind, I rather be with you.”

“That’s ok, Mom, I will take you back in so you can play Bingo with your friends.”

On our way back, mom wanted me to photograph the lilac bushes.  I was only too happy to accommodate her request. 

 

When we went back into The Community*, mom wanted to tell everyone we saw about the lilacs and how beautiful the weather was outside.  Mom would then suggest that I show them the photo I had just taken of her next to the lilac bushes.

Everyone enjoyed the enthusiasm in mom’s voice describing her outdoor experience.  They loved her photo with the lilac bushes. 

Mom and I had a special visit.  I am going to print this photo so mom can share her experience even when the lilacs are no longer blooming.