When I arrived at The Community*, I found mom in
her lunchroom speaking with Dana*. Mom
was in the process of telling Dana* about an event that took place last night with
a ball. I had not realized at the time
that mom had repeated the story to Dana* several times already; although
repeating stories is quite a common occurrence for mom.
As always, mom was happy to see me. She started over with her story telling me
about a ball that fell on her while she was in bed. Mom has a hard time differentiating between
reality and her dreams.
I mentioned to mom that I wanted to hear all about
what happened. Dana* noticing my
McDonalds bag asked if she could help wheel mom to our semi-private family
lunch room. I graciously accepted her
help as I also needed to bring mom’s water and cranberry juice.
On our way over to the lunchroom, mom never
stopped talking about the ball and how scared she was. I removed our food from the bag and set up
mom’s lunch while trying to give mom the attention she deserved.
Although mom was having a hard time speaking
today, I clearly understood that mom saw a huge ball falling from the sky onto
her bed. The ball was heavy and mom screamed
for help. When assistance came, they
looked for the ball, but could not find the ball anywhere. They tried to explain to mom that she must have
had a bad dream. Mom disagreed; she
thought the ball was real. I promised to
check her room for a ball to make sure that she would never have that occur
again. She told me that they already
checked and the ball was definitely gone.
After I unwrapped mom’s cheeseburger and put the
fries on her tray. Mom asked why I
hadn’t gotten a double cheeseburger. I assured her that we both had double
cheeseburgers. She looked at the
cheeseburger and shook her head no. I
separated the bun and showed mom that there were two burgers under the
bun. She then nsaid, “Did you go to my
McDonalds?” Mom only believes the
McDonalds by her condo where she used to live make the best double
cheeseburgers. She never wanted me to go
anywhere else. And changing mom’s mine
at this day and age is not going to happen.
“Of course, mom, I know that is the best
one.” Agreeing with mom is always the
easiest thing to do. How funny that I
just learned this lesson so late in life.
Our life together would have gone so much smoother if I was not so
concerned in my younger years about being right.
Mom informed me that she was not hungry today.
“That’s Ok, mom, eat what you can.”
With every bite I took mom tried to keep up with
me, so I slowed down so she would not choke.
And before she had time to give eating any more consideration mom had
eaten her entire double cheeseburger, as well as, many of the fries. Although she was able to eat by herself, mom
is unable to hold a glass of water or cranberry juice without the drink
spilling. She will not even try to lift
the cup any longer, so I assisted when she was thirsty.
During our meal, we were accompanied as usual with
the lovely couple who eats in this room every breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sam* is the kindest man and adoring husband. His beautiful wife does not speak, nor have I
ever seen any expression on her face. I
greet her each time I see her yet she just watches mom and me walk by.
Sam* visits her three times a day to feed her. He also brings beautiful music for them both
to enjoy. Today we listened to some old
favorites of mom’s, Connie Francis’s song, ‘Where
the boys are’.
“I think so”, mom smiled.
“Connie was a pretty lady with short, dark black
hair. You and dad had her album.”
Mom smiled acknowledging that is how she
remembered her.
The next song that came on was a Doris Day song
and when the refrain came, I sang Que Sera
Sera.
“Do you remember this song by Doris Day?”
Mom shook her head again and when the refrain came
this time, we both sort of mouthed the words ‘Que Sera Sera’. We both
laughed.
Sam* heard us and he is always respectful of mom
and me, He asked, “Are you enjoying the music?”
“Yes, mom and I love your music.” Then I said, “You
are amazing; you are here for every meal?”
He said these words lovingly, “Let me tell you
something: Fifty-four years ago I
promised my bride that I would be with her for better or worse and I plan to
keep my promise. My bride has been here
for 8 years and I plan to be with her every day that I can.”
“You are pretty incredible. Your wife is lucky to have you.”
He spoke up without
hesitation, “Not at all, I am the lucky one.”
He walked towards his bride smiling with a deep affection most people
could only dream about. They make a
beautiful couple. No one knows when they
say those words in marriage what they will truly do when the going gets tough,
but I know I pray for the compassion that is needed to take care of my spouse
should that ever happen. Observing his
love, gentleness, and devotion to her is something special to see and admire.
I asked mom if she would like to go outside for
our stroll and as usual she agreed.
Friday was a windy day and although mom’s hair originally looked very
nice when I arrived, her hair was blowing around her face while we were outside
and she kept trying to pat it down.
On our way to the gazebo, we saw daisies in
bloom.
When we stopped at the gazebo, the one white
butterfly that is there so often was there again today.
“Look, mom, there’s our butterfly.”
Mom loves butterflies and so do I. For some reason, butterflies seem to make
people feel good maybe because we seldom see one and even when we do the
butterfly stays such a short time and flies away.
The breeze seemed cold today and a storm was
eminent later that evening. Mom was
chilled so we did not stay outside long.
In fact, I tried to keep mom in the sun instead of under the
gazebo.
On the way back, mom looked at the wheat bushes
and said, “You love these.”
“You’re right, mom, I love when the wind blows and
they seem to float back and forth. They
seem so peaceful”.
Mom pointed to the mums around the building,
“Look!” We would often both try to show
the other the new flowers in bloom.
“Their gorgeous, mom, we used to have something
like that growing up. Let’s go see them
up close.” I wheeled mom there and we
both touched them and held them in our hands.
“Soft . .
. full,” mom said.
When Mom and I went back in The Community* the
first thing I did was brush mom’s windblown hair.
“How does it look?” Mom asked.
“You look beautiful.” I snapped her photo and showed her.
I took mom to her floor and set mom up right next
to her good friend, Darlene.*
“Windy,” mom told Darlene*
“Oh, yeah,” Darlene* answered.
Mom hugged and kissed me. Her squeezes seem tighter and tighter. There are more hugs lately. Mom said, “I love you, Julienne, with my
whole heart. I love all my kids.”
“Mom, there is no doubt in my mind that you love
all your kids.”
“I pray for my enemies,” mom said.
“I’m sure that makes God happy. We should all pray for our enemies.”
Mom wanted another hug and kiss and so did I. We blew kisses and when I left I had no idea
what laid ahead for us tomorrow.
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