Daughter's Eulogy

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Don't Worry About Us Mom

When I saw mom today she was having a conversation with Dana*.  Instantly when mom noticed me, her face lighted up.  “You’re here.”

“Of course, mom, I wanted to spend time with you.”

Dana* said, “Your mom was just trying to tell me something about you and your brothers.”

“Worried  . . .  ‘bout everyone”

“Mom, who are you worried about?”

“You . . .  Jerome . . .  Jamie,”

“Why are you worried about us?”

“My kids  . . .  depressed with me.”

“I am not sure I understand mom.”

“I pick . . .  on all . . .  of you.”

“Mom, you do not pick on me.”

“Jerome . . .  Jamie”

“They are not upset with you either.  We all love you very much.”

“Tell them  . . .  no . . . more . . .  argue,” mom said anxiously.

“I’ll tell them, mom.   I never think that you are arguing with me. ”

“When . . . I can’t . . . talk.”

“I know you just get frustrated when you have a difficult time talking.  Anyone would be frustrated.”

 “They say  . . .  old age.”

“We are all getting older sometimes I cannot remember what I am trying to say.”

Mom lifted her hands up and dropped them on her lap saying, “Julienne, I’m useless.” Mom lowered her head as she tried to fidget with her hands to show me.

Tears rolled down my eyes and before mom looked up I wiped them away.  “I know you might feel that way, but you are not useless.”

 “Mom, try joining everyone in the activity room?”

“I can’t  . . .  do . . .  anything,” mom said sadly.

“Mom, just be with them.  Most of the people here cannot do much.  Some cannot do anything at all.  Just be with everyone.  Try watching TV.  You might enjoy your day more by being with everyone. ”

 “Oh, Julienne, Ohhhhhh,” mom reached over to hug me. 

“I would do anything I could to help you, mom. You have to try,  too.”

Mom looked down at her feet on the footrests of the wheelchair, “These  . . . depress me.”

“Mom, if you want I can take them off for you.  Your feet are not swollen anymore.”

Mom shook her head yes so I removed the footrests.  When I did mom’s feet just dangled. 

“Do you like this way better?”  Mom shook her head again yes. 

“I am happy I could make you a little more comfortable.”

As I hugged mom again she said, “Julienne  . . . glad you came.”

“Me, too, mom.”

 “Where you going?”

“After I leave here, I am getting my hair cut.”

“Don’t be late.”

 Mom pointed to the activity room, “I want to go over there.”

“Are you going to join everyone in the activity room?” I wondered if she was going to take my advice.

“Yes,” mom shook her head smiling.

“Thank you, mom, for joining the others.”

I unlocked mom’s wheelchair so I could wheel her there when Dana* walked up and said, “Gilda, are you going to join in activities?”

Mom smiled, “Yes, I’m  . . .  gonna . . .  try.”

Dana* said, “Julienne, I’ll wheel your mom in.”

Mom said, “Yes, my daughter’s getting her hair done.”

I looked at Dana*, “I have enough time, but Mom does not want me to be late.”

I bent down to hug mom again.  “Mom, I am proud of you.”

 Mom said, “I love you with my whole heart . . . Jamie . . .  Jerome . . . too . . . all the same.  Tell them.”

“I will tell them, mom.  We all love you, too. ” Mom and I blew each other kisses.

Mom looked the best she has in a couple weeks, and yesterday she seemed to be able to talk better than she has in a while maybe because she is off the Lasics and the Theraflu.  After one month The Community* is no longer under quarantine.  Although mom has been eating better lately because they are feeding her, I was told that mom has lost over 29 pounds since she was first admitted here.

We are just taking one day at a time.  God is in control.

1 comment:

  1. We are a gaggle of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.
    Your site provided us with valuable information to work on.
    You've done an impressive task and our whole group can be grateful to you.
    My site ; cpanel hosting