Time to Wonder

 

 “Rosalee* is great,” mom stated. Rosalee* is mom’s hospice chaplain she visits her and prays with her.

“She’s very kind to you, mom.”

“She asks me . . .  why I   . . . want . . .  die.”

“How do you answer her mom?”

“I’m ready.   She says  . . .  God’s not ready.”

“She’s right.  I tell you that all the time.”

“She prays  . . .  with me.  I pray that  . . . God takes care of all  . . . you.”

“That is a perfect prayer”.

 

 

“Someday I won’t  . . . see any  . . . my family.  I wonder   . . .  how that  . . . will be.”

“Mom, someday we will all be together again.  You will be in heaven with God and all the relatives and friends who have gone before you. “

“I hope so.”

“Mom, you will live in our hearts forever.”

Many days when I visit mom would rather not speak because the right words won’t come to her.  Mom had clarity on Saturday; she wanted to talk and ask questions. I stood there until she let me know she was tired and that she had enough conversation.  My goal is giving my mom peace so answering all her questions is important to her and me.

A few days after my visit with mom, I received a call from Mom’s chaplain, Rosalee*.  She pointed out that mom has been talking to her a lot about heaven.  I think mom thinks about heaven 24/7.  I shared my recent conversations with mom asking questions about the details of her funeral including wanting to see a photo of her casket.   I inquired if that is normal.  She stated there is no normal. 

She wondered if I was intending to bring the photo.  I mentioned that I was choosing to wait because I thought mom might forget that she requested to see the picture of her casket.  Rosalee* cited that she has had a few residents who have planned their own funeral in every detail.  In addition, many residents ask why God has not taken them yet especially when the resident feels ready to leave this earth. 

Rosalee* suggested to keep answering mom’s questions to the best of my knowledge and that she would do the same.  She promised to keep in touch with me.  I thanked her for giving mom comfort by praying with her.  I let her know how much mom enjoys all that she does for her.