400 Luminaries

 

Last Wednesday night was a night that will be imbedded in my mind for years to come.  The funeral home where mom was waked held their 17^th Annual Luminary Memorial.  Four hundred luminaries each one representing a loved one who had passed and been waked at this home in the past twelve months.  (Actually I was told that about 30 of them were from previous years where the family has asked the funeral home to keep their loved one on their list again this year.)

Several weeks ago I received a letter about this upcoming event.  The funeral home offered to allow loved ones to stop by and pick up the white paper bag that had their loved one’s name on the front prior to the event to decorate if the family chose to do so.  They requested that we return the bags prior to the event so each one could be properly placed between the other luminaries.

Decorating the luminary was a privilege that I did not take lightly recognizing that the luminary would be my Christmas card to mom.  I knew this special event held right before the holidays begin would be a part of the healing process for me.  

One Sunday I spent most of my day at Archiver’s trying to come up with something beautiful that represented mom.  I am no stranger to Archiver’s as I spent many days there in the past creating special keepsakes for my dear family members.  What I have always found is the support of Archiver’s staff is immeasurable.  Once I share my vision with them, they always help me make my vision a reality.  As I was trying to explain what I envision on this project tears ran down my eyes.  The woman helping me hugged me and told me that they just celebrated her mother’s 95^th Birthday.  She shared her fear of losing her mom some day and stated that she would do anything she could to help me make this luminary one that my mom and family would be proud of.

Mom loved anything that sparkled:  jewelry, clothes, fireworks, etc.  So I knew I wanted to place gems on her luminary bag for the light to reflect and bounce off them.  Using a current photo of mom was important too.  The photo I selected represented the peace mom was having at the end and the joy she felt when she was with her children.  Truly this photo is one of my personal favorites. 

 

The meteorologists had called for rain that afternoon.  Although the meteorologists in Chicago do their best to predict the weather, they are often wrong.  Unfortunately, last Wednesday night they were right.  Ron, Aunt Jay, and I arrived at 4:30PM early enough so that I would be given the opportunity to light mom’s luminary. Many people were there already lighting their loved ones bag.  The luminaries surrounded the walkways and were placed alphabetical making the task of finding your loved one’s bag easy. 

The privilege of lighting mom’s luminary was another gift of closure.  The gems on her bag sparkled.  Mom’s face was aglow.  A warmth sensation filled my body like a huge hug from mom.   In my eyes, mom’s bag stood out amongst all the others.   No matter where I stood I could see her. 

Sandy and Pete arrived shortly thereafter.  People continued to arrive and socialize.

 Due to the cold and drizzly night many people chose to wait for the minister’s talk at 6PM by going in the funeral home for homemade cookies, cake and coffee.  All their rooms had flat screen TVs showing Miracle on 34^th Street and there were several chairs available to accommodate anyone interested in staying out of the rain and cold.  Aunt Jay stayed inside watching the movie until the ceremony began when everyone stepped outside to hear and view the memorial.  Hundreds of people stood outside: some with umbrellas, some with hoods, and some underneath the porch. 

 

The entire ceremony was beautiful. The minister’s prayer and reflection was first.  Followed by a horn tribute for our veterans included the unfolding and folding of our American Flag.  Part of the ceremony included four members of the funeral staff each person lighting one of the four candles as the owner’s son read the following. 

 

 

                                                             A Holiday Memorial

As we light these four candles in honor of you, we light one for our grief, one for our courage, one for our memories and one for our love.

This candle represents our grief.  The pain of losing you is intense.  It reminds us of the depth of our love for you.

This candle represents our courage. .  .   To confront our sorrow.  .   .  To comfort each other.  .  .  To change our lives.

This light is in your memory.  .  .  Times we laughed.  .  .   Times we cried.  .  .  Times we were angry with each other.  .  .  Silly things you did.  .  . The caring and joy you gave us.

This light is the light of love.  As we enter this holiday season, day by day we cherish the special place in our hearts that will always be reserved for you.  We thank you for the gift your living brought to each of us. 

We love you! 

During the memorial you could see and feel the love in everyone gathered there. After the ceremony was over, we stayed and shared stories.   Having the opportunity to start the holiday season by first remembering mom was a blessing.