The Bench

 

 

Heading towards the gazebo to see mom’s memorial for the first time, I had a picture in my mind of how wonderful her bench would be on the fishing pier where we could look out at the pond and the water fountains as she and I, as well as other family members, had done so many times.  

Since going to mom’s burial site is too far to be convenient, our family wanted some place special where we could go when we needed to feel her presence.

My excitement turned to surprise and disappointment when I saw that there was only the original bench on the pier.  Mom’s bench was supposed to be positioned next to that bench.  Instead mom’s bench was placed at the entrance of the pier facing the walkway and looking away from the pond.  I must not of made myself clear how important the placement and direction of the bench was to us.”

 

Confused I immediately started snapping photos and texted those to Jerome, Jamie and Ron to let them know that there must have been a misunderstanding I would never have suggested facing the bench that way.   I wanted everyone visiting to sit and enjoy what we found so soothing and comforting.

While I took the time to text, I sat down on mom’s bench. Although not the scenery I had planned on looking at, the view was quite beautiful as I gazed at the gazebo, the gorgeous wild flowers and roses.

A father and his mentally challenged teenage son clasping fishing poles passed me on their way towards the pier.  The father stopped and mentioned to me that his son’s grandmother lived in one of the homes surrounding the pond.  He shared that he and his son would come and attempt to fish wherever they visited her.  The son was clearly excited to be fishing with his dad. 

The son wanted to know why I was sitting on the bench.  I mentioned that this was a special bench in my mom’s memory.  He asked me where she was and I told him heaven.  He said something funny.  “Your mom went to heaven and left you her bench.” 

I smiled and said, “Something like that . . . what she left me were memories.  When I sit here I remember them.   I showed him the gold plate with her name on the bench.” 

He went off to tell his father what I had just told him.  “Dad, that lady is sitting on her mom’s bench.”  The dad smiled back at me.  The son hurried back over by me and said, “I didn’t know that bench was your mom’s.  I promise I won’t sit on it.” 

“Of course you can sit on it whenever you want.”

“I can!”

The son ran back to his father saying, “Dad, the lady says I can sit on the bench when I want.” Most of the son’s time was spent running back and forth to me asking questions. Their conversation and the son’s excitement made me smile and I bet mom was smiling, too.

While watching them, I was remembering mom telling me how much she loved fishing here with her friends from the supportive living facility.  I can still see the bright smile on her face when she spoke about the huge fish she caught.   I remember how proud mom was to show me the photo of her and the fish.  Although she spoke of that day often, I have never seen anyone out there fishing until this day.

 

The father and his son did not stay long.  The father may have thought that his son was bothering me asking so many questions over and over again, but I did not mind.  I was enjoying just sitting there.

As they walked away, my eyes focused on the gazebo where a mother and daughter were sitting looking out at the pier.  Funny that I had never seen another mother and daughter doing what we used to do although I am sure many do.  We were the mother and daughter gazing out at the pier and the beauty surrounding this lovely area. The mother was in a wheelchair just like mom had been and the daughter was sitting on her right side just like I used too. 

 

I could not help thinking about the Friday before mom passed.  We sat there like we did so many times before.  Mom felt good.  There was no indication that this would be our last time there together.  Our visit was like so many other nice visits.

Then something magical happened: it dawned on me that the bench was exactly where mom placed it.   I believe she wanted her family not to focus on just the beauty of the pond, but to take in everything especially where we sat and remember our times together. 

While I sat reminiscing about some of our times in the gazebo, I saw first one then two white butterflies frolicking around the flowers and each other.  As hard as I tried to take photos of them, I could not seem to see them through my camera lenses.  Both butterflies seemed to dance around me and fly away.

 

On my way out, I stopped inside the gazebo where I imagined mom and me.  I said out loud, “Nice going, Mom, I’m so glad you approve of the bench.  You picked the perfect view.”