A Tribute to Mom

(As I stood at the podium with tears in my eyes and mom at my side, I started my eulogy with a joke to put me and everyone else at ease.)

Have you ever seen a miracle?  If I can read this without crying, that would be a MIRACLE!!    If not, I am wearing waterproof makeup, hopefully it doesn’t fail me.

1.    Mom’s education only went to the eighth grade. She was forced to quit school and go to work at a steel company to help support her family. She brought every single paycheck home to her father and mother.

2.    Mom told me growing up that she was the Black Sheep of the family.  She was the Ugly Duckling.  Mom you may have felt that way, but you were neither the Black Sheep nor the Ugly Duckling.

3.    Mom never thought she was pretty and yet, mom, I thought you were beautiful. 

4.    Mom was an artist.  Does anybody know who Brenda Starr is?  Mom did.  Brenda Starr is one of the longest running comic strip characters.  Mom was a great cartoonist as a teenager.  We have displayed her work tonight and hope you have had a chance to see her sketching.  Mom came from very humble beginnings.  Her family did not recognize her talents.  Unfortunately mom stopped sketching as a young teenager, but her sketching has been preserved.

 

 

5.    Mom married dad when she was 24 which was late for girls in those days.  Mom made a stunning bride.

 

 

6.    Mom creativity never stopped.  After mom and dad married, she turned her creativity into knitting and crocheting sweaters and afghans, but how many people know that mom crocheted me a gorgeous bedspread that I have never taken off my bed but to clean it. 

 

 

 

 

 

7.    Mom also knitted and crocheted beautiful sweaters and vests for me that I have hung around this room. 

 

 

 

8.    Mom loved to play pinochle. Whether it was with our aunts and uncles growing up, her ladies pinochle league, playing with Mom and Dad Lentz in Marco or playing with the Naperville Seniors Group.  Growing up  .  .  .   a weekend didn’t go by without mom and dad and my aunts and uncles playing pinochle at one of their homes.

9.     Mom called my dad Wee-Gee. Mystery remains to me:  I never found out why.  Wee-Gee was a far cry from dad’s tough guy name  .  .   .  Guido; but dad seemed to love it when mom called him Wee-Gee. 

10.Mom was a perfectionist.  She ironed our pillowcases and sheets.  As soon as I was tall enough to reach the iron and the ironing board that became my job.  Mom would have me re-iron the pillowcases if they weren’t perfect until my work met with her standards.  She would also make me dust baseboards and ledges of doors every week. 

A little secret mom doesn’t know:   I have never dusted a baseboard or a ledge of a door since I have been married and I never plan to. Somehow I don’t think she would be upset with me anymore.

11.Back to another one of mom’s perfectionist traits.  It was never more evident than when mom was baking whether it was homemade bread from scratch, pizza from the old country, or maybe one of the finest pineapple upside down cakes ever created.  Just ask Pete or Ron who makes the best pineapple upside down cake, in addition, to the prettiest one.

 

 

12.Mom was never satisfied.  I guess that’s a true perfectionist.  She always believed things could be better. 

13.Mom was emotional.  She would cry when she was happy or sentimental.  My brothers and I have that trait, too.  My brothers and I call it ‘Gilda-ism’ and Ron called it ‘Gilda-itis).  Mom laughed whenever we talked about it.

14.Mom loved the color purple.  Back in the 60s mom had our entire home carpeted with deep purple carpeting.  Little did she know that deep purple carpeting showed every speck of dust or fuzz so we had to vacuum every day?

15.Mom was superstitious.  Growing up she had a small salt and pepper shaker above each door. Somewhere along the line, the salt and pepper shakers disappeared from the tops of our doors but I don’t remember when or why.

16.Mom loved flowers.  When I think of her, I remember the love she had for red geraniums.  Most of you probably remember that our home in Chicago Heights had an enormous flower box that always adorned red geraniums. Although my dad seemed to water them frequently, Mom would prune them daily. If one of the pedals were dying mom would clip them so they all looked perfect all the time.  Mom, funny thing this year our house is surrounded by geraniums and deep purple petunias.  And I will think of you each and every day as I trim and water them.  I will try to keep them perfect.

 

 

17.Mom even used her gardening skills while she was at Tabor Hills.  She loved being in charge of watering their flowers and often showed me the container that she planted with flowers in their lovely garden.

18.Mom was known by family and friends as Jilda, Jill, Aunt Jill or Aunt Jilda until the last five years of her life.  At that time, she appreciated what a great original name her parents gave her and wanted to be called ‘Gilda’ and was adamant about it. 

19. When I was young, Mom called her kids Charlie Brown.  We are not sure why but somehow things changed later in life and we started calling mom Charlie Brown.  Maybe because she loved to read the comics of the Sunday newspaper.

20.Mom was a food demonstrator at many of the stores including Jewel, Dominick’s, and Target. Mom loved this job because she would demonstrate her outgoing personality, her persuasiveness and make friends at the same time.  Sales were high when mom was the demo lady.  To this day, I’ve never met a better one.

21.Mom was a manicurist.  Till her dying bed she still loved having her nails look nice.  Looking at mom even as she lay like an angel her nails are beautifully manicured.

22. Mom loved to have her hair done.  The hours we spent with Jennifer her beautician at Tabor Hills Supportive Living laughing and talking were times I never will forget.

 

23.Mom loved to lay and bathe in the sun.  Growing up mom and I often baked outside together while Dad would cook and shoo away any bees from bothering us.  Mom, neither of us have baked our bodies in years, but we still enjoy being out in the sunshine together.

24.Mom was afraid of bugs.  She passed that trait on to me.  When the 17 year Locust came dad had to shield mom and me as we walked to and from our house and garage.  Thank goodness a locust never landed on either of us.

25.As you may already know mom called all of her children ‘The Joys of Her Life’ and she would cancel any plans if one of her kids wanted to spend time with her at the same time.

26.Mom loved to go shopping so much that dad would call the mall mom frequented as the bank.  The name of the mall was Lincoln Mall.

27.Mom loved to spend time in Glenwood with her sisters and Marlene.  While us kids were growing up life wasn’t complete unless we visited at least once a week.  Many weeks she was there several times.

28.Mom loved sausage.  She loved it grilled to perfection.  Jerome, Jamie, and Ron knew that perfection meant burning the sausage.  And they never let her down.  Mom knew they all went out of their way to make her happy.

29.Mom loved chicken wings.  Mom was not happy until she made her chicken wing bones shine.  She would remind me that when she was growing up they had so little to eat that they would not waste a thing. Initially, she was upset that I never cleaned my chicken bones as good as her, but she often cleaned my chicken bones after I was finished saying, “I left the best part.”

Ron cleans the bones like mom did that was something they both had in common and would both make fun of me not following in their good examples.

30.Mom loved to bake homemade bread.  We loved smelling her bread permeating throughout the house.  Many days she made her homemade spaghetti sauce at the same time.  Nothing was better than putting her gravy on her homemade bread.   When I envision her bread and gravy, I still receive the satisfying feeling I had eating this delicious treat.

31.Although mom was a perfectionist, she always burnt one loaf of bread for herself.  She loved burnt bread and we always let her eat that whole loaf.

32.Mom loved being helpful.  She would often come and help Ron and me with yard work.  She did this up to her last few years.  She was happy to be rewarded with one of her favorite meals that Ron would cook specially for her like Steak, Bacon and Onions with Roasted Tomatoes.  Dad was the one who initially created this masterpiece and his recipe will go on for generations.

33.Growing up mom loved Shafer Lake.  Mom and dad would take us there every year along with our aunts, uncles and cousins.  We would have the time of our lives.

34.Mom loved going to Marco Island.  Her favorite times were while my dad was still alive and our family would be together.  They both enjoyed and loved ‘our extended family’ there.

 

 

35.Mom always stressed the importance of having children so much so mom offered to be a surrogate for Ron and me when we were told we were unable to have our own children.  Maybe we have seen too many soap operas, but Ron and I could not deal with whether the child would be our son, daughter, sister, or brother.  But mom, we never forgot your selfless gesture. 

36.One of the fun things about being around mom was having people guess her age.  Mom had great genes. Her skin was so clear and youthful looking.  She had so few wrinkles that many people would actually go through her medicine cabinet to see what she was using to keep herself looking so good.  (They told me so.) By the way, what they found was Oil of Olay. 

37.Many times at Tabor Hills people there would ask if we were sisters.  Mom thought that was funny and laughed.  I knew how special that made mom feel and that made me very happy.

38.When any of her children split a sandwich or even a cupcake with her, mom would think we gave her the biggest piece and want to trade with us.  She always wanted to take care of her children first.

39.Ron gave mom a loving nickname of PITA (which stands for Pain in the ___; you can guess what the ‘A’ stood for).  Mom actually loved her nickname and would often say Julienne was also a PITA.  And of course, Ron would agree.  Mom and Ron had a wonderful relationship although it started out rocky many years ago; they both loved each other very much.  Mom often told me Ron was one of her favorite people.

40.When mom was still driving she loved to go to daily mass.  When she was unable to drive she still attended every service that Tabor Hills had and attended weekly Sunday mass at St. Thomas the Apostle.

41.In the last few months, when I would be with mom she often said, “Julienne, you always make over me and make me feel special!!!”  Oh how times have changed since I was a little girl and you used to dress me up in those frilly dresses.  Mom you made sure my outfit and hair was perfect.  I was paying you back and then some.

42.Mom loved McDonalds but only one McDonald’s location was what Mom considered ‘the REAL McDonalds’.  No other location would make those double cheeseburgers the way she liked them or so she thought.

43.Mom’s last meal was a Happy Meal.  We ate that for lunch on Friday.  Mom’s Happy Meal consisted of a double cheeseburger and fries.  And yes, she ate every bit of her double cheeseburger.

 

 

44.Mom and I have a Blog called Mom and Me:  The Last Chapter where I journal mom’s bought with dementia, COPD, and congestive heart failure.  Our blog turned into a love story about a daughter and her mom.  I am so thankful that mom allowed me to journal our love and past experiences and mom was so very proud of it.  This blog shows it is never too late to repair a relationship that is so very important to you if you really try.  Our new relationship was so important to both of us and we both treasured every moment together.

45.Mom loved her picture taken especially in her last year and a half.  I took hundreds of photos of mom.  After I took her photo, she wanted to see it and would select the one she wanted me to put on my blog. Even last Friday when we ate lunch.

 

46.When our blog was put in the Naperville Sun along with our photo, mom took the article and showed everyone at Tabor Hills.

 

 

  

48. Mom loved the 4^th of July.  She especially loved the boomers and when they would go off she would say:        POW  . . .   POW  . . .    POW.   How appropriate mom that you wanted to celebrate the 4^th of July in Heaven; I bet there will be a lot of BOOMERS there.  When I look up in the sky on 4^th of July I will know what a great view you will have. As we look up, we know you will be looking down at all of your children sending us your love; watching over us and praying for us to make the most of our lives.  Mom, we will always strive to make you proud as we are proud to call you MOM.  We love you and you will be in our hearts forever.

49. Mom, you told us when we had problems that we had a loaf of bread under each arm.  We have to pause and remember your saying when we complain. We often don’t remember how blessed we all are with good health.

49.Mom of all your great traits and all the wonderful things I remember about you there is one thing above all that stands out and  I personally want to thank you for:  You always had an unwavering and special connection with Our Father in Heaven.  You believed in ‘prayer’ and in going to Our Lord with any problems.  It did not matter whether Ron and I were going through troubled times trying to have children, or one of your children was without a job or was sick or had left the flock.  As recently as three weeks ago when Ron went to visit mom by himself the day before his knee surgery, Mom said to Ron I have been already praying for you, I will be praying for you tonight and all day tomorrow.  She kept praying until just last Monday when Ron was able to go to Tabor Hills to spend some time with mom again. She saw how good he was doing.  She knew her prayers were once again answered.  And you know mom we believed you every time you told us you were praying for us.  So much so that you even asked others to pray right along with you for your children.   We will remember how important prayer was to you all the days of your life and on your dying bed as you tried to say the prayers along with us.

50. You have probably heard the saying that cats have nine lives.  Well, mom had the lifespan of several cats.  The number of times in the last 15 years that we thought her life was coming to a close was endless.  Mom, God knew we both had unfinished business we both had to take care of.

51.Mom was impatient.  At the end, mom wanted to go home to Christ.  In fact on Saturday when I saw her after she had what we think was a stroke in the middle of the night.  Mom said as clear as day, “C’mom.”  Jamie, Ron and I were there that morning, and understood what she meant:

“It’s time to get the show on the road.”  YOU WERE RIGHT MOM; IT DEFINITELY WAS TIME.  And you deserve to spend eternity with Our Lord as well as all your family and friends.

Mom, I know you’re listening, and watching over us right now.  I know you are pleased with all the family and friends who are here celebrating your life.  I hope you can feel how much you are loved.

Mom, you will be missed by many people:

But mom . .  .  ‘The Joys of Your Life’ will miss you the most!!!  

 

 



 

Guess what?  You all experienced a tiny miracle.  Mom’s spirit must have helped me read this tribute to her.   Thank you, mom!  We love you very much!!!