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Earlier this week Jamie invited me to meet him on
Thursday at mom’s bench where we could celebrate mom’s birthday eating McDonald’s
double cheeseburgers and reminiscing about old times.
When mom had passed a special friend had sent a
McDonald’s gift card. Mom’s birthday was definitely the perfect time to use the
thoughtful gift.
Thursday, October 3rd was mom’s
birthday. She would have been 86 years
old. Time sure has flown by . . . I can
hardly believe that she has been gone over three months. Sometimes it is hard
to just simply believe she is gone at all.
My heart aches missing her when I dwell on that thought.
When I opened my email this morning, someone had
sent me a beautiful slideshow. A slide
stated, “There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you want
to pick them from your dreams and hug them.”
When I read this slide, I felt that it was no coincidence that this message
came to me today because that is exactly how I am feeling. I would love to have one more hug from mom especially
on her birthday.
Our weather in Chicago has been exceptional
recently. Unfortunately, Thursday late
morning’s weather was not. So we chose
to do the next best thing; we ate at mom’s favorite McDonald’s where my
brothers and I had taken mom so many times.
After enjoying our double cheeseburgers, we drove to mom’s bench.
Once we arrived the rain was down to a light
drizzle. All the colors in the garden seemed
so beautiful and crisp; the leaves were starting to cover the walkway.
As we strolled towards the gazebo and looked towards
the pier, mom’s bench was now facing the fountains in the pond. Since the bench is not nailed down, other
families can move the bench to accommodate their group if they choose to. The bench looked good there too. Due to the
rain we did not sit on the bench.
Jamie brought Birthday balloons and tied them to her
bench. He wanted everyone who visited
the pond to know that mom’s birthday was today.
We chuckled that we did not know due to the inclement weather just how
many if anyone would visit.
Staring out onto the pond, we both prayed mom’s
favorite prayer which had given her so much peace during her most difficult
days:
Mom is the Light.
The Light is within Mom.
The Light moves throughout Mom.
The Light surrounds Mom.
The Light comforts Mom.
The Light gives Mom peace.
Mom is the Light.
We
know when a loved one passes, that everyone goes through stages. The wounds and
emptiness linger, but the feelings of deep love prevail. We shared some of our different and similar
stages of grief and loss. We also know
that time will heal all of our hurts.
When
we started to leave I said, “Sure wish we saw our butterfly.” No sooner did Jamie agree with me when I
noticed the butterfly appear at a distance. However Jamie looked up and did not
see the butterfly as it moved quickly in and out of the flowers and
bushes. I hoped God would show him the
butterfly, too. We were both relieved and
delighted when the butterfly reappeared.
Surprisingly one little white
butterfly made such a huge impact on our visit.
We both want to believe the butterfly is a sign from mom letting us know
she is well and missing us too.
We hoped that mom was having a wonderful birthday
in heaven playing pinochle with all our family members who previously passed.
When we were at our cars, we looked back at the
pier. We could see mom’s birthday
balloons waving to us. Thank God for the
beautiful setting with mom’s memorial bench. What a wonderful way to remember
mom. We still can feel her presence there; I believe we always will.
Happy Birthday, Mom!
We love and miss you very much!
